British -- France -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Riviera (France) -- Fiction; Spouses -- Fiction
She would have followed her own especial robber, but that he forbade
her with gay volubility, and bid her accompany the rest of the robbed
and find him again at the Custom-house.
"Numéro Quatre," he cried, tapping the brass plate on his cap, and
dancing off with the grin and gesture of a good-natured gnome.
Observing that all but a few sturdy and muscular men submitted to
this spoliation, and unhesitatingly obeyed the commands of the
gnomes, Ermengarde, feeling very lone and lorn, and suddenly
forgetting for sheer weariness the whole of the French language in a
lump, gave herself up for lost, and was borne passively in the tide
of fellow-sufferers, who formed a soft but shifting support, to the
gangway, where the pleasing spectacle of a nervous man dropping an
open purse of gold into the sea just in front of her in attempting to
produce a ticket, showed that every depth has a lower deep, and
consoled her with the reflection that her own spare pence were safely
bestowed in various inaccessible portions of her attire.
But here she was at last, in the _beau pays de France_, within
measurable distance of the much-desired and artistically decorated
sofa, etc., if stiff and trembling limbs would but support her
through the tourist's purgatory, the Douane. Never again would she
dread solitary travel; the sea trip in retrospect grew to be
absolutely delicious--if she had only known it at the time--in the
exaltation of having survived the awful ordeal of passing through the
chops of the Channel--not that she had noticed any chops--she felt
capable of penetrating to Central Africa. Actually penetrating only
to the centre of the Douane, which at first sight she supposed to be
a large stable or coach-house, our poor untravelled traveller sought
the friendly face of Numéro Quatre among the long lines of
brass-plated gnomes, only to find it, with its elfish grin and the
whole of her travelling necessaries, conspicuous by its absence.
It was then, after long and vain search and countless wild and
polyglot inquiries of unsympathizing foreigners, and endless courses
up and down and round the crowded, many-voiced Douane, that the
hapless Ermengarde began to ask herself why she had left the safe and
comfortable precincts of her native land, and braved cold and famine
and the terrors of the deep, only to become the prey of grinning
brigands upon savage and inhospitable shores. Poor little Charlie,
unwilling victim of enforced football, but at least happy in
ignorance of his mother's fate! London was undoubtedly foggy; but
property there was comparatively safe. People there were at least
not compelled to part with the whole of their possessions at the
bidding of strange monsters. Nor were they obliged there to lose
expensive _Train de Luxe_ by waiting for hours in places with nothing
to sit upon for people who never came.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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