British -- France -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Riviera (France) -- Fiction; Spouses -- Fiction
But not too tired to perceive that they were jolting along a level
road, shaded by grey and leafless planes unreal and dreamlike in the
marvellously clear sunlight, along a torrent bed, that was threaded
by a stream, in which women were washing linen, kneeling in tubs or
on the bare, shingly bed, just as she remembered them in Swiss
torrents when a girl; or to catch a glimpse on the other side of
marvellous villa gardens ablaze with scarlet salvias and giant
geraniums, and glowing with orange-trees in fruit. It was "roses,
roses all the way," while, high above in the dazzling sky, soared
bare mountain peaks, warm grey, veined with amethyst and streaked
with snow, jewel-like, wonderful. They had left the town far behind,
and seemed to have jogged an immense distance inland by the torrent
bed, before they reached a little blue house at the foot of a steep
mountain ridge, cultivated or wooded to the very top, turned in at a
gate, and stopped. Then Ermengarde's heart, lightened by the foreign
charm and beauty of the road, sank once more. Could this small and
homely cultivator's house be Les Oliviers? Not at all; the hotel was
high up out of sight, they were informed, while being gently
requested to alight.
"Mais pourquoi descendre, Messieurs et Mesdames? But quite simply,
because here the road ceases to exist. It is now necessary to
mount," was the alarming pronouncement of the driver.
To mount--and to mount a wooded precipice with an invisible summit,
after all the jolting and shaking of the long journey. Ermengarde at
once decided that the only possible course was to lie down and die
then and there. The woman of substance, on the other hand, with
sound practical common sense demanded to be told what she was to
mount, and was politely informed that she might take her choice, with
a wave of the hand towards a string of mules and donkeys amiably
blinking in the sunshine beneath a jutting rock, that was almost
hidden in hanging drapery of sarsaparilla, honeysuckle, and bramble,
and topped by pines and great bushes of white heath in flower.
"Mount _them_!" shrieked the poor lady, surveying the unconscious
animals through her lorgnette. "Merciful Heavens!"
"But, one at a time, not all at once," the driver explained with
gestures of deprecation.
"This is infamous!" thundered the fair-sized man, recovering from
partial suffocation and upon the verge of apoplexy. "My wife's
minimum weight is fourteen stone! Infamous! Besides, she can't
ride. Atrocious!"
"Unless Madame prefers to mount on foot."
"Unfortunately," the thin man meekly put in, "there is no other
alternative, the hotel being on the top of the ridge and accessible
only by a mule-path."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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