My dear-lov'd Julia! to my latest age,
No other vows shall e'er my heart engage."
Full of the fond ideas which seemed a part of myself, I flew down to
Woodley-vale, to reap the long-expected harvest of my hopes.--Good God!
what was the fatal news I learnt on my arrival! Alas! she knew not of my
love and constancy;--she had a few weeks before given her hand, and no
doubt her heart, to Sir William Stanley, with whom an accident had
brought her acquainted. I will not enlarge upon what were my feelings on
this occasion.--Words would be too faint a vehicle to express the
anguish of my soul. You, who know the tenderness of my disposition, must
judge for me.
Yesterday I saw the dear angel, from the inn from whence I am writing;
she and her happy husband stopped here for fresh horses. I had a full
view of her beauteous face. Ah! how much has two years improved each
charm in her lovely person! lovely and charming, but not for me. I kept
myself concealed from her--I could hardly support the sight of her at a
distance; my emotions were more violent than you can conceive. Her dress
became her the best in the world; a riding habit of stone-coloured
cloth, lined with rose-colour, and frogs of the same--the collar of her
shirt was open at the neck, and discovered her lovely ivory throat. Her
hair was in a little disorder, which, with her hat, served to contribute
to, and heighten, the almost irresistible charms of her features. There
was a pensiveness in her manner, which rendered her figure more
interesting and touching than usual. I thought I discovered the traces
of a tear on her cheek. She had just parted with her father and sister;
and, had she shewn less concern, I should not have been so satisfied
with her. I gazed till my eye-balls ached; but, when the chaise drove
from the door--oh! what then became of me! "She's gone! she's gone!" I
exclaimed aloud, wringing my hands, "and never knew how much I loved
her!" I was almost in a state of madness for some hours--at last, my
storm of grief and despair a little subsided, and I, by degrees, became
calm and more resigned to my ill fate. I took the resolution, which I
shall put in execution as soon as possible, to leave England. I will
retire to the remaining part of my Frederic's family--and, in their
friendship, seek to forget the pangs which an habitual tenderness has
brought upon me.
You, who are at ease, may have it in your power to convey some small
satisfaction to my wounded breast. But why do I say _small
satisfaction_? To me it will be the highest to hear that my Julia is
happy. Do you then, my dear Spencer, enquire, among your acquaintance,
the character of this Sir William Stanley. His figure is genteel, nay,
rather handsome; yet he does not look the man I could wish for her. I
did not discover that look of tenderness, that soft impassioned glance,
which virtuous love excites; but you will not expect a favourable
picture from a rival's pen.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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