In a few days there was an execution in my house, and I was conveyed to
the King's-Bench. At first I took the resolution of continuing there
contentedly, till either my cruel creditor should relent, or that an act
of grace should take place. A prison, however, is dreadful to a free
mind; and I solicited those, who had, in the days of my prosperity,
professed a friendship for me: some few afforded me a temporary relief,
but dealt with a scanty hand; others disclaimed me--none would bail me,
or undertake my cause: many, who had contributed to my extravagance, now
condemned me for launching into expences beyond my income; and those,
who refused their assistance, thought they had a right to censure my
conduct. Thus did I find myself deserted and neglected by the whole
world; and was early taught, how little dependence we ought to place on
the goods of it.
When I had been an inmate of the house of bondage some few weeks, I
received a note from Miss Maynard. She deplored, in the most pathetic
terms, "the steps her father had taken, which she had never discovered
till that morning; and intreated my acceptance of a trifle, to render my
confinement less intolerable; and if I could devise any methods, wherein
she could be serviceable, she should think herself most happy." There
was such a delicacy and nobleness of soul ran through the whole of this
little _billet_, as, at the same time that it shewed the writer in the
most amiable light, gave birth to the liveliest gratitude in my bosom. I
had, till this moment, considered her only as the daughter of Mr.
Maynard; as one, whose mind was informed by the same principles as his
own. I now beheld her in another view; I looked on her only in her
relation to my late wife, whose virtues she inherited with her fortune.
I felt a veneration for the generosity of a young girl, who, from the
narrow sentiments of her father, could not be mistress of any large sum;
and yet she had, in the politest manner (making it a favour done to
herself), obliged me to accept of a twenty-pound-note. I had a thousand
conflicts with myself, whether I should keep or return it; nothing but
my fear of giving her pain could have decided it. I recollected the
tears she shed the last time I saw her: on reading over her note again,
I discovered the paper blistered in several places; to all this, let me
add, her image seemed to stand confessed before me. Her person, which I
had hardly ever thought about, now was present to my imagination. It
lost nothing by never having been the subject of my attention before. I
sat ruminating on the picture I had been drawing in my mind, till,
becoming perfectly enthusiastic in my ideas, I started up, and, clasping
my hands together,--"Why," exclaimed I aloud, "why have I not twenty
thousand pounds to bestow on this adorable creature!" The sound of my
voice brought me to myself, and I instantly recollected I ought to make
some acknowledgment to my fair benefactress. I found the task a
difficult one.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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