The Tables Turned; or, Nupkins Awakened. A Socialist InterludeMorris, William
General
The Tables Turned; or, Nupkins Awakened. A Socialist Interlude
Morris, William
Socialism -- Drama
_J. N_. (_writing_). This capital. Well, well, well! I cannot guess
why the prisoner should be so infuriated against this metropolis. Go on,
Mr. Hungary.
_Mr. H_. (_to witness_). Can you remember any other words he said?
_Pot_. Yes; later on he said, "I hope to see the last Londoner hung in
the guts of the last member of Parliament."
_J. N_. Londoner, eh?
_Pot_. Yes, my lord; that is, he meant Londoner.
_J. N_. You mustn't say what he meant, you must say what you heard him
say.
_Pot_. Capital, my lord.
_J. N_. I see; (_writing_). The last dweller in the metropolis.
_Pot_. Capital, my lord.
_J. N_. Yes, exactly; that's just what I've written--this metropolis.
_Pot_. He said capital, my lord.
_Mr. H_. Capital, the witness says, my lord.
_J. N_. Well, doesn't that mean the same thing? I tell you I've got it
down accurately.
_J. F_. (_who has been looking from one to the other with an amused_
_smile, now says as if he were thinking aloud_:) Well, I _am_ damned!
what a set of fools!
_J. N_. What is that you said, sir? Have you no sense of decency, sir?
Are you pleading, or are you not pleading? I have a great mind to have
you removed.
_J. F_. (_laughing_). Oh, by all means remove me! I didn't ask to be
here. Only look here, I could set you right in three minutes if you only
let me.
_J. N_. Do you want to ask the witness anything? If not, sir, hold your
tongue, sir. No, sir; don't speak, sir. I can see that you are
meditating bullying me; let me advise you, sir, not to try it.
_Mr. H_. (_to_ POT.) Was that the only occasion on which you heard him
speaking?
_Pot_. No; I have heard him speaking in Hyde Park and saying much the
same thing, and calling Mr. Justice Nupkins a damned old fool!
_J. N_. (_writing_). "A damned old fool!" Anything else?
_Pot_. A blasted old cheat!
_J. N_. (_writing_). "A blasted old cheat!" (_Cheerfully_) Go on.
_Pot_. Another time he was talking in a public-house with two men whom I
understood to be members of the Fabian League. He was having words with
them, and one of them said, "Ah, but you forget the rent of ability"; and
he said, "Damn the rent of ability, I will smash their rents of
abilities."
_Mr. H_. Did you know what that meant?
_Pot_. No; not then.
_Mr. H_. But you do now?
_Pot_. Yes; for I got into conversation with one of them, who told me
that it meant the brain, the skull.
_J. N_. (_writing_). "The rent of ability is a cant phrase in use among
these people signifying the head."
_Mr. H_. Well?
_Pot_. Well, then they laughed and said, Well, as far as he is
concerned, smash it when you can catch it.
_Mr. H_. Did you gather whose head it was that they were speaking of?
_Pot_. Yes; his lordship's.
_Mr. H_. (_impressively and plaintively_). And _why_?
_Pot_. Because they said he had jugged their comrades like a damned old
smoutch!
_J. N_. _Jugged_?
_Pot_. Put them in prison, my lord.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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