The Tables Turned; or, Nupkins Awakened. A Socialist InterludeMorris, William
General
The Tables Turned; or, Nupkins Awakened. A Socialist Interlude
Morris, William
Socialism -- Drama
_J. N_. (_Aside_: That Norwich affair.) Wait! I must write my self down
a smoutch--smoutch? no doubt a foreign word.
_Mr. H_. What else have you heard the prisoner say.
_Pot_. I have heard him threaten to make her Majesty the Queen take in
washing.
_J. N_. Plain washing?
_Pot_. Yes, my lord.
_J. N_. Not fancy work?
_Pot_. No, my lord.
_A Juryman_. Have you heard him suggest any means of doing all this?
_Pot_. Yes, sir; for I have attended meetings of his association in
disguise, when they were plotting means of exciting the populace.
_Mr. H_. In which he took part?
_Pot_. In which he took part.
_Mr. H_. You heard him arranging with others for a rising of the lower
orders?
_Pot_. Yes, sir; and on the occasion, when I met him in the public
house, I got into conversation with him, and he told me that his society
numbered upwards of two millions. (J. F. _grins_.)
_The Juryman_ (_anxiously_). Armed?
_Pot_. He said there were arms in readiness for them.
_Mr. H_. Did you find out where?
_Pot_. Yes; at the premises of the Federationist League, 13 Farringdon
Road.
_Mr. H_. Did you search for them there?
_Pot_. Yes.
_Mr. H_. Did you find them?
_Pot_. No; we found nothing but printing-stock and some very shabby
furniture, and the office-boy, and three compositors.
_Mr. H_. Did you arrest them?
_Pot_. No; we thought it better not to do so.
_Mr. H_. Did they oppose your search?
_Pot_. No.
_Mr. H_. What did they do?
_Pot_. Well, they took grinders at me and said, "Sold!"
_Mr. H_. Meaning, doubtless, that they had had an inkling of your search
and had sold the arms?
_Pot_. So we gathered.
_J. N_. (_writing_). "They did not find the arms because they had been
sold."
_Mr. H_. Well, Constable, that will do.
_J. N_. Prisoner, do you wish to ask the Constable any questions?
_J. F_. Well, I don't know. I strongly suspect that you have made up
your mind which way the jury shall make up their minds, so it isn't much
use. However, I will ask him three questions. Constable Potlegoff, at
how many do you estimate the dense crowd at Beadon Road, when I
obstructed?
_Pot_. Upwards of a thousand.
_J. F_. H'm; a good meeting! How many were present at that meeting of
the Socialist League where we were plotting to make the Queen take in
washing?
_Pot_. Upwards of two hundred.
_J. F_. Lastly, when I told you in the public-house that we were two
millions strong, were you drunk or sober?
_Pot_. Sober.
_J. F_. H'm! It's a matter of opinion perhaps as to when a man _is_
drunk. Was I sober?
_Pot_. No; drunk.
_J. F_. H'm! So I should think. That'll do, Mr. Potlegoff; I won't
muddle your "Rent-of-Ability" any more. Good bye.
[SERGEANT STICKTOIT _called_.
_Mr. H_. Have you heard the prisoner speaking?
_St_. Yes.
_Mr. H_. Where?
_St_. At Beadon Road amongst other places: that's where I took him.
_Mr. H_. What was he doing?
_St_. Standing on a stool, speaking
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