"The first morning I came round for work I met him dressed as if to go to town, and carrying a wickered demijohn. ’Miller’,’ he says, ’I’m going into town to get this filled. You must stop here and be ready to answer any telephone call from the police station.’ S’ help me if there wasn’t a telephone in that beastly shack. ’If a pauper cops off they’ll ring you up from town and notify you to have the gryve ready. If I’m awye, you’ll have to dig it. Remember, if it’s a man, you must dig a six foot six hole; if it’s a woman, five feet will do, and if it’s a kid, three an’ half’ll be a plenty. S’long.’ And off he goes. "Strike me blind but that was a long dye, that first one. I’d the pauper gryves for view and me own thoughts for company. But along about noon, the Harvard graduate not showing up, I found a diversion. The graduate had started to paint the shack at one time, but had given over after finishing one side, but the paint pot and the brushes were there. I got hold of ’em and mixed a bit o’ paint and went the rounds of the gryves. Ye know how it is in a pauper burying-ground—no nymes at all on the headboards—naught but numbers, and half o’ them washed awye by the rynes; so I, for a diversion, as I sye, started in to paint all manner o’ fancy nymes and epitaphs on the headboards—any nyme that struck me fancy, and then underneath, an appropriate epitaph, and the dytes, of course—I didn’t forget the dytes. Ye know, that was the rarest enjoyment I ever had. Ye don’t think so? Try it once! Why, Gawd blyme me, there’s a chance for imagination in it, and genius and art—highest kind of art. For instance now, I’d squat down in front of a blank headboard and think a bit, and the inspiration would come, and I’d write like this, maybe: ’Jno. K. Boggart, of New Zealand. Born Dec. 21, 1870; died June 5, 1890,’ and then, underneath, ’He Rests in Peace’; or else, ’Elsie, Youngest Daughter of Mary B. and William H. Terhune; b. May 1st, 1880; d. Nov. 25, 1889—Not Lost, but Gone Before’; or agyne, ’Lucas, Lieutenant T. V. Killed in Battle at Wady Halfa, Egypt, August 30, 1889; born London, England, Jan. 3, 1850—He Lies Like a Warrior, Tyking His Rest with His Martial Cloak Around Him’; or something humorous, as ’Bohunkus, J. J.; born Germany; Oct. 3d, 1880; died (by request) Cape Town, Sept. 4, 1890’; or one that I remember as my very best effort, that read, ’Willie, Beloved Son of Anna and Gustave Harris; b. April 1st, 1878; d. May 5th, 1888—He was a Man Before His Mother.’ Then I wrote me own nyme, with the epitaph, ’More Sinned Against Than Sinning;’ and the Harvard chap’s too. His motto, I remember, was ’He Pulled 5 in His ’Varsity’s Boat.’