For I often found it blessed to be waiting upon, and waiting for God. I often envied the felicity of those who could say, _My God_.—When I was a little indisposed in body I was much afraid I should die in the pit—this made me in a hurry to get out of it. I think such a state is described by _Isaiah_—_The captive exile hasteneth that he may be loosed_, _lest he should die in the pit_, _and that his bread should fail_. Here such a case is exactly set forth; and fast held we are—I felt it so—held by the chains of sin, the iron bars of unbelief, the curses of the Law, the fears of death, and the dread of future judgement. Sometimes I got very cold and indifferent about it—then that text would make me tremble—_Ephraim is joined to idols_; _let him alone_! This made me chuse my burden, for I was always afraid of ease, or losing my burden I knew not how. Sometimes I got sweetly refreshed under the word; then my hope was busy, expecting greater things than those—at other times I got cut up, root and branch; this made me go away, groaning in spirit, yet obliged to go to the same place where I had been wounded, and there God generally healed me. I felt great liberty at times, in reading some of Mr. _Huntington’s_ Works, namely, the Letters to the late tried Mr. _Jenkins_—one Passage especially, which is rather too long to transcribe, was particularly blessed to me, in the first volume of the “Living Testimonies,” page 61—the latter part of the Sermons on “The Dimensions of Eternal Love,” and “The Law established by Faith.” These were marrow and fatness to my soul; but after waiting, seeking, longing, desiring, fearing, desponding, and praying, the Lord descended to give me a clearer illumination of mind—it shone into my heart, lifted me up with joy, overcame me with love, made me cry, my Father! my God! my Beloved! my Portion! my All!—I wondered, I rejoiced, I wept, I was completely absorbed in love, wonder, and joy. One Day at work, thinking over my state, and inwardly fretting in my heart, the Lord suddenly whispered, with peculiar power, and clothed it with much light—_the Son of Man is come to save that __which was lost_! There was such a peculiar emphasis upon the word, that I stood still; I was, for a few moments, quite confused, but presently I felt a sweet sensation of gratitude, love, and joy. I was enabled to see my sins were forgiven, my soul justified in Christ, God well pleased with me, and a throne of grace open to me. I humbly conceive this was the _Joy_ of Faith, God had blest me with the _Grace_ of it before—now I had the _Joy_ of it—I was happy in Christ. This pleasure of mind gradually abated. On the following Sunday morning I went, as usual, to Providence Chapel. Mr. _Huntington_ preached on, _Cast out the bond-woman and her son_. When the text was read I thought there would be nothing for me—but O! the sweet surprize! God spoke almost every word of the Sermon to me. The preacher was led to describe bondage