This was attended in a moment with such an affecting view of the Sufferings of Jesus as is impossible to describe: I saw him clearly on the Cross, in great agonies—this deeply affected me—I covered my face lest any one should see my tears. This was followed with a thought that every sin of mine “did cost his heart a groan!”—The Lord now led me on to seek him more than ever, and to know that he actually died for me; for the above vision was only on the mind; it did not shine into the heart with any assurance, therefore I could not rest on it. I told a good woman of it who attended Providence Chapel, and she assured me it was a token from the Lord, that I should be brought into glorious liberty, and, perhaps, preach a crucified Christ: Though this at the time appeared very unlikely, yet so it came to pass. The next clear light manifested to my mind in a sensible way, was in hearing Mr. H. on—_Go forth_, _O ye daughters of Zion_, _and behold King Solomon_. This was sweet, clear, and precious indeed. Under that Sermon I had very blessed discoveries of Jesus, in the Suitableness of his Person, and the Love of his Heart, yet could not say he was mine. The Lord the Spirit continued my teacher, and many encouraging seasons I experienced. Sometimes full of doubts and fears—shut up in unbelief—overcome at times with besetting sin, which brought on all my horrors again; and while expecting to be cut off and sent to hell, was, on the contrary, many a time melted with his forbearing and tender mercy.—Thus I was kept, hoping and depending, looking for a deliverance and often disappointed. These words of Mr. _Toplady_, the first time I saw them, was very sweet to me, at a time when I was particularly low; Yet, Lord, if thou ne’er had’st design’d No covenant blessing for me; Ah, tell me how is it I find Such sweetness in waiting for thee.