The Three Cities Trilogy: Lourdes, Volume 1Zola, Émile
Religion
The Three Cities Trilogy: Lourdes, Volume 1
Zola, Émile
Catholics -- Fiction; Christian pilgrims and pilgrimages -- Fiction; Clergy -- Fiction; Lourdes (France) -- Fiction
But the train was passing the station of Sainte-Maure, and just then a
sudden uproar momentarily brought Pierre’s attention back to the
carriage and its occupants. He fancied that there had been some fresh
seizure or swooning, but the suffering faces that he beheld were still
the same, ever contracted by the same expression of anxious waiting for
the divine succour which was so slow in coming. M. Sabathier was vainly
striving to get his legs into a comfortable position, whilst Brother
Isidore raised a feeble continuous moan like a dying child, and Madame
Vetu, a prey to terrible agony, devoured by her disease, sat
motionless, and kept her lips tightly closed, her face distorted,
haggard, and almost black. The noise which Pierre had heard had been
occasioned by Madame de Jonquiere, who whilst cleansing a basin had
dropped the large zinc water-can. And, despite their torment, this had
made the patients laugh, like the simple souls they were, rendered
puerile by suffering. However, Sister Hyacinthe, who rightly called
them her children, children whom she governed with a word, at once set
them saying the chaplet again, pending the Angelus, which would only be
said at Chatellerault, in accordance with the predetermined programme.
And thereupon the “Aves” followed one after the other, spreading into a
confused murmuring and mumbling amidst the rattling of the coupling
irons and noisy growling of the wheels.
Pierre had meantime relapsed into his reverie, and beheld himself as he
had been at six-and-twenty, when ordained a priest. Tardy scruples had
come to him a few days before his ordination, a semi-consciousness that
he was binding himself without having clearly questioned his heart and
mind. But he had avoided doing so, living in the dizzy bewilderment of
his decision, fancying that he had lopped off all human ties and
feelings with a voluntary hatchet-stroke. His flesh had surely died
with his childhood’s innocent romance, that white-skinned girl with
golden hair, whom now he never beheld otherwise than stretched upon her
couch of suffering, her flesh as lifeless as his own. And he had
afterwards made the sacrifice of his mind, which he then fancied even
an easier one, hoping as he did that determination would suffice to
prevent him from thinking. Besides, it was too late, he could not
recoil at the last moment, and if when he pronounced the last solemn
vow he felt a secret terror, an indeterminate but immense regret
agitating him, he forgot everything, saving a divine reward for his
efforts on the day when he afforded his mother the great and
long-expected joy of hearing him say his first mass.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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