A copper gleam of sunlight came suddenly from under the rim of a leaden
cloud. For a moment it flared on the hedge, making the wet leaves shine.
It gave a metallic look to the evening--instead of sweetening the soaked
landscape it seemed only to make it sadder, with a harsh, reckless
sadness it had not worn in the gloom. Quentin put up his hand and picked
one of the shining sprays, to fasten it in Janey's jacket. Whenever he
saw beautiful things in the hedges, he wanted to give them to Janey. He
never wanted to give her the beautiful things he saw in shops; he did
not, like so many men, stare into shop windows, longing to see her in
those clothes, those jewels, and great hats like the moon. But if ever
he found a sudden splash of bryony in the hedge, or a flush of
bloody-twig, or honeysuckle, or nuts, he wanted to pick them for her.
When it was May he had often met her in Furnace Wood with his arms full
of hawthorn, in June he had brought her dog-roses, in August ripe ears
of barley, in September wild-apple boughs; and now in October he picked
her sprays of red, sodden leaves. There was a little nut on this
spray--he picked it off and cracked it with his teeth, and put the
kernel into her mouth. Then suddenly the sunlight faded, and a soft rush
of gloom swept up the valley of the hammer ponds.
"Nigel came home last night," said Janet, breaking the silence that had
lasted with the sun.
"How is he looking?"
"He's changed, Quentin."
"It's aged him, of course."
"That isn't so terrible--we could have endured that, we'd expected it.
The awful thing is that it's made him so childish. Sometimes you'd
really think he was a child, by the way he speaks--and goes on."
"He'll soon be all right--you'll heal him, Janey."
"I don't see how I'm going to. The worst thing is that he's so reserved
with me and Len. It isn't that he doesn't talk and tell us things, but I
know he doesn't tell us the things that really matter. Oh,
Quentin"--turning suddenly to him--"I feel such a wretch, having a
secret from the boys when Nigel's like this."
"You've lost your logic, sweet--or, rather, thank God, you never had
any. Your brother's secrets ought to make you worry less about your
own."
"You don't understand--it's just the other way round."
She sighed deeply, and her pain irritated him.
"You have the power to end it if you like--you're not so badly off as I
am. You can tell your brothers any day you choose--they can't
interfere."
"Of course not--but it would make them miserable. They'd be miserable
enough at the idea of my marrying any one, and leaving them--and as for
marrying you----"
"Oh, I know they hate me," broke in Quentin. "And they despise me
because I haven't got their health and muscle. They hate me for what I
have got--their land; and they despise me for what I haven't got--their
muscle."
Janet's eyes filled. She knew that he was wretchedly jealous of her
brothers, and it hurt her more than anything else. She laid her hand
timidly on his arm.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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