While she waited for the tea to draw she came over to the mirror above
the fireplace and began to arrange her hair. The firelight played on her
as she stood there, her arms lifted, her head thrown back, half her face
in shadow, half flushed in the glow.
"Janey, you are the symbol of Love--all light and darkness and
disarray. It's cruel of you to stand like that--it's profane. For you're
not Love, you're morality."
"It's funny, Quentin, but you never can understand my reasons for what I
do--it's because they're not poetic enough, I suppose."
"You don't seem to have any reasons at all--only a moral sense."
He rose and went to sit at the table, resting his chin on his hands. She
came behind him and bent over him.
"Dear one, I've seen such a lot of unhappy love that I've made up my
mind ours shall be different.... I refuse you because I love you too
much."
Quentin sighed impatiently.
"If I did what you ask," continued Janey tremulously, "our love would
die."
"Nonsense!--how dare you say such things! Why should it die?"
"I--I don't know--but I'm sure it would. Oh, Quentin, I know you don't
understand my reasons, because I really haven't given them to you
properly. They're things I feel more than things I know."
She went and sat down opposite him, and began to pour out tea.
"Let's talk of something that isn't love."
He laughed.
"Let's breathe something that isn't air. Everything's love--if we talked
about flowers, or books, or animals, or stars, we should be talking
about love. Without love even our daily newspapers wouldn't appear."
"Then don't let's talk of anything--let's hold our tongues."
"Very well, Janey."
He smiled at the simplicity of the woman who thought she could silence
love by holding her tongue.
For some minutes they sat opposite each other, swallowing scalding tea,
crumbling cake upon their plates. Their first meal together, on which
they had both set such store, had become an ordeal of mistrust and
silence. The sunset was now ruddy on the woods, and the sky became full
of little burning wisps of cloud, like brands flung out of the west.
They hurried over the sky, and dropped behind a grass-grown hill in the
east, crowding after one another, kindling from flame to scarlet, from
scarlet to crimson. The wind came and fluttered again round the
house--darkness began to drop into the room. Outside, a rainbow of
colours gleamed and flashed in the sunset, as it struck the hammer ponds
and the wet flowers of the garden--but the window looked east, and there
was nothing but the firelight to wrestle with the shadows that crept
from the corners towards the table. Soon the table with the food on it
became mysterious, gloomed with shadows and half-lights--then the
dimness crept up the bodies of Quentin and Janey, leaving only their
white faces staring at each other. They had given up even the pretence
to eat--their eyes were burning, and yet washed in tears.
Suddenly Janey sprang to her feet.
"I must go."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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