The Tithe-Proctor: The Works of William Carleton, Volume TwoCarleton, William
General
The Tithe-Proctor: The Works of William Carleton, Volume Two
Carleton, William
Ireland -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
“Well, now,” said the pedlar, whilst folding up again the goods which he
had displayed for sale, “upon my profits, Misther Purcel, it's a perfect
delight to me to call here, an' that whether I dale or not--although I'm
sure to do so always when I come. Well, you have all dealt wid me now
for payment, and here goes to give you something for nothing--an, in
truth, it's a commodity that, although always chape, is seldom taken.
'Tis called good advice. The ladies--God bless them, don't stand in need
of it, for sure the darlins' never did anything from Eve downwards, that
'ud require it. Here it is then, Misther Purcel, let you and your sons
do what the ould song says--'be good boys and _take care of yourselves.
Thighin thu?_ (*Do you understand.) An' this gintleman, if I knew his
name, maybe I'd say something to him too.”
“This is Mr. M'Carthy, Cannie.”
“Ay, M'Carthy--troth 'tis a good ould name. Well, Mr. M'Carthy, all I
have to say to you! is, that _if you happen to meet a man that gives you
good advice, TAKE IT_. An' now God be Wid you all, an' spare you to one
another!”
So saying, he slung his huge pack over his shoulders almost without an
effort, and commencing a merry old Irish song he proceeded lightly and
cheerfully on his journey.
“Well, boys,” said the proctor, “now that we've had a good hearty laugh
with the _Cannie Soogah_, let us proceed to business. I see by your red
coats and top-boots, that you're for the hounds to-day, but as I'm in a
hurry, I wish before you go, that you'd see those sneaking devils
that are hanging about the place. Hourigan is there again with fresh
falsehoods--don't be misled by him--the ill-looking scoundrel is right
well able to pay--and dix me if I'll spare him. Tell him he needn't
expect any further forbearance--a rascal that's putting money in the
saving's bank to be pleadin' poverty! It's too bad. But the truth is,
boys, there's no one behind in their tithes now entitled to forbearance,
and for the same reason they must pay or take the consequences; we'll
see whether they or the law will prove the strongest, and that very
soon. Good-bye, boys; good-bye, M'Carthy--and I say, Jack and Alick, be
on your sharps and don't let them lads do you--d'ye mind now?--keen's
the word.”
He then got on his comfortable jaunting-car, and drove off to wait,
according to appointment, upon the Rev. Jeremiah Turbot, D.D.
“Mogue Moylan,” said John, “will you go out and tell them fellows that I
and Alick will be in the office presently--and do you hear? tell them
to look like men, and not so much like murderers that came to take our
lives. Say we'll be in the office presently, and that we hope it's not
excuses they're fetching us.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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