Married women -- Fiction; Mothers -- Fiction; Women authors -- Fiction
And sitting on the floor at her grandmother's feet, regardless of
Charlotte's crushed flounces, Sheila poured out her impetuous
confession, from the first moment of temptation and yielding to the
final one of Peter's awakening words.
"And when he spoke of you, grandmother, I just couldn't _bear_ it! I
wondered how I could have been happy at all--I wondered how I could
have forgotten you for a minute! I hated the frock! I hated the
party! And I hated myself most of all! I had to come home and ask you
to forgive me right away!"
And down went her head into Mrs. Caldwell's lap. "Do you---think--you
can forgive me?" came the muffled plea.
For answer Mrs. Caldwell bent and kissed the prostrate head, and it
burrowed more comfortably against her knee. But Mrs. Caldwell did not
speak. She was waiting for something, and when Sheila continued to
burrow, in the contented silence of a penitence achieved, she inquired
quietly: "Well, dear?"
Sheila lifted her head at that, and looked straight into the wise,
sweet eyes above her: "I wanted something! I wanted something
dreadfully! And I didn't know what it was. And then, when I saw
myself in Charlotte's frock--and so changed--I thought I'd found what I
wanted. I thought--I thought I'd wanted to be beautiful!"
"Yes," said Mrs. Caldwell gently, "I used to think that, too."
"Oh, grandmother, did you? Then you understand how I felt! But--but,
you see, it didn't last. I wanted to be good _more_. That's what made
me come home. Grandmother, do you suppose _that's_ what I've wanted
all the time, without knowing it--to be good?"
At the question, Mrs. Caldwell, wise gardener that she was, realized
that one of the flowers which she had divined, stirring in the depths
of Sheila's being, was pushing its way upward to the light, and that
the moment had come for her to help it. She slipped her arms around
the girl kneeling before her, as if seeking in love's touch inspiration
for love's words.
"I think you will always want to be good," she said, "and I think you
will always want to be beautiful. Women do, Sheila dear--even the
women who are least beautiful and least--good. It's part of being a
woman--just like loving things that are little and helpless.
"But, Sheila, being beautiful isn't enough! Even being good isn't
enough, though of course it ought to be. It's essential, but it isn't
enough. Every woman must have something else besides to make her
happy--something that is hers, _her own_! She must have that to be
beautiful _for_, and to be good for--she must have that to live for!
"And that is what you want, dear--the thing that is your own. You have
been born for that--you cannot be complete or content without it."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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