Married women -- Fiction; Mothers -- Fiction; Women authors -- Fiction
Hour after hour she entreated God to make terms with her. The night
crept by, slow-footed and silent, but she was not aware of the passing
of time, or of the deepening of the stillness within the house, or of
the quivering of the sword above her head. She no longer listened for
sounds from that distant room. She no longer strove to pierce the
intervening walls with her mother's sixth sense. She heard nothing but
the voice which had counselled her; she strove for nothing but to obey
that voice. Her whole being concentrated itself into a prayer. She
was conscious only of herself and God, and of her passionate effort to
reach Him.
"Oh, God, _hear_ me! I have sinned, but I will sin no more. My heart
is broken with remorse. I will never write again!"
So she pleaded with God throughout the long night. And pitiful and
insolent as was her bargaining, God must have found in it something to
weigh.
For with the first light of the morning, Ted opened the door--and there
was light in his worn face, too.
"Sheila--_Sheila_!----"
And then they fell into each other's arms, sobbing--sobbing as they
could not have done if their little son had died.
CHAPTER XI
With tragic sincerity Sheila had entered into the compact for her son's
life, and she kept it to the letter. She saw no reason why she should
have a poorer sense of honor toward God than she had toward men and
women; her child had been spared to her, and henceforth it was for her
to fulfill her part, to keep her given word.
She had never understood, indeed, why people made--and broke--promises
to God so lightly. She had found them ready enough to complain if they
considered God unjust to them, but they never seemed to think that it
mattered whether they were "square" with God or not. To them He was a
sort of divine creditor who need not be paid. They even made it a
proof of reverence--a comfortable proof!--to place Him far above the
consideration they had to show their fellow men. This viewpoint was
impossible to Sheila. Morbid, hysterical, as her offered price for
Eric's life had been, she felt herself bound, and she paid
punctiliously.
It was easy enough thus to pay as she watched her child growing strong
and rosy again. His little life--Ah, what was it not worth? A dozen
times a day the memory of that night when she had believed that he
would die sent her shuddering to her knees with fresh prayers and
promises. And always the recollection of that loss escaped roused in
her a very passion of thanksgiving. She had her son!--that was her
answer to all the dreams which, unrealized, sometimes stole back to
tempt her with their wistful faces.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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