English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
“The New Didactic!” exclaimed Lady Drakmanton with an air of returning
illumination; “thank you so much. Of course, I remember now who I am.
I’m Ellen Niggle, of the Ladies’ Brasspolishing Guild. The Club employs
me to come now and then and see to the polishing of the brass fittings.
That’s how I came to know Lady Drakmanton by sight; she’s very often in
the Club. And you are the ladies who so kindly asked me out to lunch.
Funny how it should all have slipped my memory, all of a sudden. The
unaccustomed good food and wine must have been too much for me; for the
moment I really couldn’t call to mind who I was. Good gracious,” she
broke off suddenly, “it’s ten past two; I should be at a polishing job in
Whitehall. I must scuttle off like a giddy rabbit. Thanking you ever
so.”
She left the room with a scuttle sufficiently suggestive of the animal
she had mentioned, but the giddiness was all on the side of her
involuntary hostesses. The restaurant seemed to be spinning round them;
and the bill when it appeared did nothing to restore their composure.
They were as nearly in tears as it is permissible to be during the
luncheon hour in a really good restaurant. Financially speaking, they
were well able to afford the luxury of an elaborate lunch, but their
ideas on the subject of entertaining differed very sharply, according to
the circumstances of whether they were dispensing or receiving
hospitality. To have fed themselves liberally at their own expense was,
perhaps, an extravagance to be deplored, but, at any rate, they had had
something for their money; to have drawn an unknown and socially
unremunerative Ellen Niggle into the net of their hospitality was a
catastrophe that they could not contemplate with any degree of calmness.
The Smithly-Dubbs never quite recovered from their unnerving experience.
They have given up politics and taken to doing good.
A BREAD AND BUTTER MISS
“Starling Chatter and Oakhill have both dropped back in the betting,”
said Bertie van Tahn, throwing the morning paper across the breakfast
table.
“That leaves Nursery Tea practically favourite,” said Odo Finsberry.
“Nursery Tea and Pipeclay are at the top of the betting at present,” said
Bertie, “but that French horse, Le Five O’Clock, seems to be fancied as
much as anything. Then there is Whitebait, and the Polish horse with a
name like some one trying to stifle a sneeze in church; they both seem to
have a lot of support.”
“It’s the most open Derby there’s been for years,” said Odo.
“It’s simply no good trying to pick the winner on form,” said Bertie;
“one must just trust to luck and inspiration.”
“The question is whether to trust to one’s own inspiration, or somebody
else’s. _Sporting Swank_ gives Count Palatine to win, and Le Five
O’Clock for a place.”
“Count Palatine—that adds another to our list of perplexities. Good
morning, Sir Lulworth; have you a fancy for the Derby by any chance?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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