PAT. Oh, dear, I've made a mistake. You are an old Dutchman, and I after an Irishman. Beg pardon. Will leave you for a good night's rest. SCHMIDT. Confound them! Another beefsteak! Wonder if I shall get any sleep before morning! _Enter the DOCTOR._ DOCTOR (_pushes his head in at the window, says_). I believe this is Mrs. Barrisnobe's hotel. I will enter by the front door. Ah, this must be the bed. Come, young man, are you fast asleep? SCHMIDT. Me asleep? Vot sleep! Paid four dollars for that bed, and have gotten woken up all dis night long. DOCTOR. A little of the deliriems-tremins, young man. You are very sick. You must take some physic. I'm the doctor. SCHMIDT. Me vants no doctor, no physic; vant to get four dollars worth out of dis bed. DOCTOR. But I'm the doctor. I want five dollars. SCHMIDT. You get right out of here and I'll give you ten dollars in the morning if you will physic that old nigger down-stairs. DOCTOR (_retreats, saying_). I see I made a mistake; gone to the wrong bed. [_Exit._ SCHMIDT. Another beefsteak. I vonder if any more of 'em is coming up. Four dollars for dis bed! _Enter YOUNG LADY with a long nose._ ADELINA (_shows herself at the window, says_). I think my Willie must be here. I will enter. (_she approaches the bed_) Willie, Willie. SCHMIDT. Vot matter now? I no Willie. ADELINA. Willie, what did you run away from me for? SCHMIDT. Oh, vot a nose! ADELINA. My nose, sir, is as good as yours, and more, for you have none at all. SCHMIDT. Oh, vot a nose. (_he tries to touch the end of it._) ADELINA (_gets excited, says_). My nose is handsomer than yours. But, Willie, Willie, what did you run away for? SCHMIDT. Vot, me run away from you? I vood not run away from a little girl so high. (_he measures the height with his two hands._) ADELINA. You promised to marry me, then you run away from me in Philadelphia. SCHMIDT. Vot! Me marry you viv that 'ere nose? ADELINA (_very passionately_). Nose or no nose, I'll not marry you at all now. You are one nasty, bad man; took me to Philadelphia, promised to marry me, then ran away. Bad man, bad man. I come right here and found you out. [_Exit._ _Enter CAPTAIN BLOWHARD, L., with candle, which is suddenly put out as he enters._ CAPT. B. I need no light to punish a scoundrel. (_comes up, and strikes bed with whip--SCHMIDT jumps up_) So, sir, I've found you--you rascally kidnapper! SCHMIDT. You are mistaken. I am somebody else. CAPT. B. I _know_ you are Mr. Brown, and that's sufficient. SCHMIDT. I am not Brown, I am te original John Schmidt. CAPT. B. Brown or Smith, did you not decoy Adelina from her father's arms? SCHMIDT. Nein. CAPT. B. Did you not run away with my child? SCHMIDT. Nein, I never run away nobody. CAPT. B. Did you not swindle me of a hundred dollars? SCHMIDT. Nein. CAPT. B. Are you not a liar?