The Travelling Companions: A Story in ScenesAnstey, F.
General
The Travelling Companions: A Story in Scenes
Anstey, F.
English wit and humor; Voyages and travels -- Humor
PODB. Oh, yes, I see _that_. But then I'm _not_, don't you know--so
there we are!
CULCH. (_desperately_). Well, I'll--I'll meet you half-way. I've no
objection to--er--titting up with you--Nuremberg or Constance. Come?
PODB. You weren't so anxious to tit up just now--but never mind.
(_Producing a mark._) Now then, Emperor--Constance. Eagle--Nuremberg. Is
it sudden death, or best out of three? [_He tosses._
CULCH. Sud----(_The coin falls with the Emperor uppermost._) Best out
of three. [_He takes coin from_ PODBURY _and tosses._
PODB. Eagle! we're even so far. (_He receives coin._) This settles it.
[_He tosses._
CULCH. (_triumphantly_). Eagle again! Now mind, Podbury, no going back
after _this_. It must _be_ Nuremberg now.
PODB. All right! And now allow me to have the pleasure of restoring your
pocket-book and note-case. They did fall out on the Niederwald, and it
was a good job for you I was behind and saw them drop. You must really
be careful, dear boy. Ain't you going to say "ta" for them?
CULCH. (_relieved_). I'm--er--tremendously obliged. I really can't say
how.--(_Recollecting himself._) But you need not have taken advantage of
it to try to do me out of going to Nuremberg--it was a shabby trick!
PODB. Oh, it was only to get a rise out of you. I never meant to keep
you to it, of course. And I say, weren't you sold, though? Didn't I lead
up to it beautifully? (_He chuckles._) Score to me, eh!
CULCH. (_with amiable sententiousness_). Ah, well, I don't grudge you
your little joke if it amuses you. Those laugh best who laugh last. And
it's settled now that we're going to Nuremberg.
[MISS TROTTER _and her father have come out from the Speisesaal doors,
and overhear the last speech._
MR. TROTTER (_to_ CULCHARD). Your friend been gettin' off a joke on you,
Sir?
CULCH. Only in his own estimation, Mr. Trotter. I have nailed him down
to going to Nuremberg, which, for many reasons, I was extremely anxious
to visit. (_Carelessly._) Are we likely to be there when you are?
MISS T. I guess not. We've just got our mail, and my cousin, Charley Van
Boodeler, writes he's having a real lovely time in the Engadine--says
it's the most elegant locality he's struck yet, and just as full of
Amurrcans as it can hold; so we're going to start out there right away.
I don't believe we shall have time for Nuremberg this trip. Father, if
we're going to see about checking the baggage through, we'd better go
down to the _depot_ right now. [_They pass on._
CULCH. (_with a very blank face and a feeble whistle_).
Few-fitty-fitty-fitty-fa-di-fee-fee-foo; few----After all, Podbury, I
don't know that I care so much about Nuremberg. They--they say it's a
good deal changed from what it was.
PODB. So are _you_, old chap, if it comes to that.
Tiddledy-iddlety-ido-lumpty-doodle-oo! Is it to be Constance after all,
then?
CULCH. (_reddening_). Er--I rather thought of the Engadine--more
_bracing_, eh?--few-feedle-eedle-oodle----
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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