Their stay among us is often so short that we are unconscious of their
presence; they go away without saying a word, and are for ever unknown
to us. But others there are who linger for a moment, who look at us
with an eager smile, and seem to be on the point of confessing that
they know all; and then, towards their twentieth year, they leave us,
hurriedly, muffling their footsteps, as though they had just discovered
that they had chosen the wrong dwelling-place, and had been about to
pass their lives among men whom they did not know.
They themselves say but little, and there is a cloud that falls around
them at the moment when men seem on the point of touching them, or
when hurt has been done them. Some days there are when they seem to
be of us, and among us, but a sudden evening comes and they are so
far away that we dare not look at them, or ask a question. It is as
though they were on life’s further shore, and the feeling rushes in
upon us that now, at last, the hour has come for affirming that which
is graver, deeper, more human, more real than friendship, pity or love;
for saying the thing that is piteously flapping its wings at the back
of our throat, and craving for utterance—the thing that our ignorance
crushes, that we never have said, that we never shall say, for so many
lives are spent in silence! And time rushes on; and who is there of us
but has lingered and waited till it was too late, and there was no one
to listen to his words?
Why have they come to us—why do they go so soon? Is it only that we
may be convinced of the utter aimlessness of life? It is a mystery that
ever eludes us, and all our searchings are vain. I have often seen
these things happen; one day they were so near to me that I scarcely
knew was it myself or another whom they concerned....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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