“Quick curtain,” he answered joyously. He was looking down and smiling
at her with such careless happiness that she loved him. He was
wonderful to her. She loved him, was jealous of every particle of him
that evaded her. She wanted to sacrifice to him, make herself a burning
altar to him, and she wanted to possess him.
The hours that would be purely their own came too slowly for her.
That night she met his passion with love. It was not his passion she
wanted, actually. But she desired that he should want _her_ madly, and
that he should have all—everything. It was a wonderful night to him. It
restored in him the full “will to live”. But she felt it destroyed her.
Her soul seemed blasted.
At seven o’clock in the morning Helena lay in the deliciously cool
water, while small waves ran up the beach full and clear and foamless,
continuing perfectly in their flicker the rhythm of the night’s
passion. Nothing, she felt, had ever been so delightful as this cool
water running over her. She lay and looked out on the shining sea. All
things, it seemed, were made of sunshine more or less soiled. The
cliffs rose out of the shining waves like clouds of strong, fine
texture, and rocks along the shore were the dapplings of a bright dawn.
The coarseness was fused out of the world, so that sunlight showed in
the veins of the morning cliffs and the rocks. Yea, everything ran with
sunshine, as we are full of blood, and plants are tissued from
green-gold, glistening sap. Substance and solidity were shadows that
the morning cast round itself to make itself tangible: as she herself
was a shadow, cast by that fragment of sunshine, her soul, over its
inefficiency.
She remembered to have seen the bats flying low over a burnished pool
at sunset, and the web of their wings had burned in scarlet flickers,
as they stretched across the light. Winged momentarily on bits of
tissued flame, threaded with blood, the bats had flickered a secret to
her.
Now the cliffs were like wings uplifted, and the morning was coming
dimly through them. She felt the wings of all the world upraised
against the morning in a flashing, multitudinous flight. The world
itself was flying. Sunlight poured on the large round world till she
fancied it a heavy bee humming on its iridescent atmosphere across a
vast air of sunshine.
She lay and rode the fine journey. Sunlight liquid in the water made
the waves heavy, golden, and rich with a velvety coolness like
cowslips. Her feet fluttered in the shadowy underwater. Her breast came
out bright as the breast of a white bird.
Where was Siegmund? she wondered. He also was somewhere among the sea
and the sunshine, white and playing like a bird, shining like a vivid,
restless speck of sunlight. She struck the water, smiling, feeling
along with him. They two were the owners of this morning, as a pair of
wild, large birds inhabiting an empty sea.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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