The lab'ring poor, in spite of double pay, Are saucy, mutinous, and beggarly; So lavish of their money and their time, That want of forecast is the nation's crime. Good drunken company is their delight; And what they get by day they spend by night. Dull thinking seldom does their heads engage, But drink their youth away, and hurry on old age. Empty of all good husbandry and sense; And void of manners most when void of pence. Their strong aversion to behaviour's such, They always talk too little or too much. So dull, they never take the pains to think; And seldom are good natured but in drink. In English ale their dear enjoyment lies, For which they starve themselves and families. An Englishman will fairly drink as much, As will maintain two families of Dutch: Subjecting all their labours to the pots; The greatest artists are the greatest sots. The country poor do by example live; The gentry lead them, and the clergy drive; What may we not from such examples hope? The landlord is their god, the priest their pope; A drunken clergy, and a swearing bench, Has given the reformation such a drench, As wise men think, there is some cause to doubt, Will purge good manners and religion out. Nor do the poor alone their liquor prize, The sages join in this great sacrifice; The learned men who study Aristotle, Correct him with an explanation bottle: Praise Epicurus rather than Lysander, And Aristippus more than Alexander; The doctors too their Galen here resign, And generally prescribe specific wine; The graduate's study's grown an easy task, While for the urinal they toss the flask; The surgeon's art grows plainer every hour, And wine's the balm which into wounds they pour. Poets long since Parnassus have forsaken, And say the ancient bards were all mistaken. Apollo's lately abdicate and fled, And good king Bacchus reigneth in his stead: He does the chaos of the head refine, And atom thoughts jump into words by wine: The inspiration's of a finer nature, As wine must needs excel Parnassus water. Statesmen their weighty politics refine, And soldiers raise their courages by wine. Cecilia gives her choristers their choice, And lets them all drink wine to clear the voice. Some think the clergy first found out the way, And wine's the only spirit by which they pray. But others, less profane than so, agree, It clears the lungs, and helps the memory: And, therefore, all of them divinely think, Instead of study, 'tis as well to drink. And here I would be very glad to know, Whether our Asgilites may drink or no; The enlightening fumes of wine would certainly Assist them much when they begin to fly; Or if a fiery chariot should appear, Inflamed by wine, they'd have the less to fear.