_Mrs. Dig._ O he will be here, never fear, madam--O this is a card from Gazette. (_reads_) “Dear Dig, I cannot be with you at seven; but before you have play’d two hands, expect me--three short visits at the Green, one in Merrion-street, two in the Mall, in Britain-street, three words at the castle with his excellency, and then I am yours for the night, and whilst I am----Gazette.” _L. Kin._ Well said, Gazette!--she will spread more scandal in these short visits than truth can remove in a twelvemonth. [_Loud knocking._] _Will._ Mr. Fitzmungrel. _James._ Mr. Fitzmungrel. _John._ Mr. Fitzmungrel. _L. Kin._ O, here’s Fitzmungrel! drunk, I suppose, according to custom. _L. Bab._ And brutal, according to nature; yes, yes, he’s drunk I see. I will be gone, for I know he will be rude. _L. Kin._ No, no, stay--let us all share in his abuse, pray. _Enter_ John. _John._ Mr. Fitzmungrel, madam. _Enter_ Fitzmungrel, _drunk and singing_. _Fitz._ My dear, Mrs. O’Dogherty--but I know you do not love to be called O’Dogherty, and therefore I will call you by your English name, Mrs. Diggerty--my dear Diggerty, I have not been in bed since I saw you. _Mrs. Dig._ Why where have you been, Fitz? _Fitz._ At the Curragh, my dear, with Pat Wildfire, Sir Anthony All-Night, Sir Toby Ruin, Dick Bashaw, and half a score more, and a fine chase we had--haux, haux, my honies--over, over, haux--but I was resolved to be with you, my little Diggerty, because I promised, so I smoaked it away to town--drove myself in my own Phaeton, and was over-turned just as I came to dirty Dublin. _Mrs. Dig._ Why you are all dirty? _Fitz._ Yes, I had a fine set down in the dirtiest spot of the whole road. _Mrs. Dig._ I hope you are not hurt? _Fitz._ Not I, my dear--haux--haux--whoop--no, no, my dear Diggerty, I am like a cat--I always light upon my legs--haux--haux--whoop--ha, my dear angelic cousin, Lady Bab Frightful--by Heavens, you are a beautiful creature, and look like the picture of good luck--well, shall we have another bank to-night?--here, take this note into your bank (_gives a note_) I will go take a nap in the next room in my old chair, and when you have made it five hundred, wake me, my little babby--do you hear-- _L. Bab._ I will, I will--that’s a good man, go, and take a nap. _Fitz._ My dear cousin, thou’rt the beauty of our family. _L. Bab._ Well, well--go sleep--go sleep. _Fitz._ The beauty of our family, Bab--another Venus--as handsome as Medusa, and you are besides a good-natured, old, young, middle-aged, giggling girl of three-score--so I’ll go take my nap--haux--haux--tally ho--whoop-- [_Exit._ _Mrs. Dig._ He is horrid drunk. _L. Kin._ And what is worse, he is a greater brute sober than drunk. [_Loud knocking._] _Will._ Mrs. Gazette. _James._ Mrs. Gazette.