_John._ Mrs. Gazette. _L. Kin._ Here she comes, that knows every body’s business but her own, ha, ha, ha! _Major._ I will swear she is in as many houses every day as Faulkner’s Journal. _Enter_ John _and Mrs._ Gazette. _John._ Mrs. Gazette, madam. [_Exit._ _Mrs. Gaz._ My dear Diggerty, you got my billet--I came to you as soon as possible--but where’s Mushroom--I do not see him. _Mrs. Dig._ He will be here, Madam. _Mrs. Gaz._ My dear Jolly, why you look in high bloom to-night--Major, how’s your gout--Lady Kinnegad, your most devoted--Oh, but Diggerty, I have a piece of news--they say your husband’s to have a peerage. _Omnes._ Ha, ha, ha! _Mrs. Dig._ It is very true, madam, very true--we are to be entitled. _Mrs. Gaz._ Why not? I am sure there are those, that have not half your fortune, who have got peerages. And pray, my dear, what is your title to be--you must consult me upon it. _Mrs. Dig._ Why, I have thought of several, but know not which to pitch upon--I am distracted about it, I have thought of nothing else this week--I wish you would all advise me--it must be something new, elegant, and uncommon--and teesty--yes, I must have it teesty--see, here is the list of titles--if you will all step into the drawing-room, we will determine upon one, and then sit down to our peerties--come, alons--sans ceremonie--I’ll shew you the way--come, major-- [_Exeunt, all but the_ Major. _Major._ Aye, aye, pack along--I’ll hobble after you--get the hazard ready--but I must sit by the fire--I am cursed lame--’sblood, I have trod upon some damn’d shell or pebble--O damn it--curse the shell--but Lady Bab’s bank will be worth touching. [_Exit._ _Enter_ O’Dogherty _and_ Katty Farrel. _O’Dogh._ They are all gone to their nightly devotions--well, and what did she say when you gave her the money? _Katty._ O sir, she was overjoy’d, and so thankful--but she will lose it all again to that Lady Kinnegad. _O’Dogh._ Not to-night, Katty; her brother was in the room before them to prevent her playing; he is resolved to settle all affairs with her this very night. But what makes this Mushroom stay so long? Sure he will come. _Katty._ O never fear, sir--you never saw a man so eager, and so full of expectation. _O’Dogh._ And so you have really dressed him up in your lady’s cloaths. _Katty._ I have, sir, indeed--and he is ten times fonder of himself (if possible) as a woman, I think, than he was as a man. _O’Dogh._ Ogh I will engage I will cure him of his passion for himself, and for all Irish women, as long as he lives. _Katty._ Here comes my mistress, and her brother with her, sir.