_O’Dogh._ Why there is the joke: it was by the help of Katty Farrel, my wife’s woman, by whose assistance I carry on a correspondence with the fellow in my wife’s name, unknown to her; and by that means I shall not only detect and expose the fellow, but get an excellent bargain of the leases, which are to be signed this very day. _Coun._ But, sir, I hope you wont accept of leases upon those terms. _O’Dogh._ O, I have no time to moralize with you on that point, but depend upon it I will convince you before I sleep of the propriety of my taking the leases: Lord, what signifies it; it is only a good bargain got from a foolish lord by the ingenuity of a knavish agent, which is what happens every day in this country, and in every country indeed. _Enter_ John. _John._ Sir, Mr. Mushroom and Mr. Sharp the attorney are below. _O’Dogh._ O, they are come about the leases. I will wait on them, John. [_Exit_ John. Now, brother, you shall see one of the pertest and most conceited impudent coxcombs that has ever yet been imported into this land, or that disgraced humanity. Mushroom _without_. _Mush._ My compliments, Mrs. Katty, to your lady, I will be with her in the twinkling of a star, or in less time than a single glance of her own immortal beauty can pass to the centre of an amorous heart. _O’Dogh._ Orra now did you ever hear such cursed nonsense. _Enter_ Mushroom. _Mush._ My dear Diggerty, I kiss your hands. I am come on purpose--I beg ten thousand pardons--I understood you were alone--you are busy I presume. _O’Dogh._ Indeed, Count, we are not. This gentleman is a relation--my wife’s brother--counsellor Hamilton, whom you have so often heard me talk of, and with whom I desire you will be acquainted. _Mush._ Sir, I feel a superlative happiness in being known to you, I have long expected and long wished for it with a lover’s appetite; therefore without waiting for the dull avocation of experience, or the pedantic forms of ceremony, I beg you will honour me with a niche in your esteem, and register me in the select catalogue of your most constant and most ardent friends and admirers. _Coun._ O dear sir, you are superabundantly obliging--this is such a favour-- _Mush._ No, no, no--none, none--give me your hand, Hamilton, you are my friend Diggerty’s friend, and that’s enough--I’ll serve you--say no more--I’ll serve you--rely upon me--I live in this town quite en famille--I go about every where, am of no party but those of love, pleasure and gallantry--the women like and command me at cards, tea, scandal and dancing--the men, at wit, hazard, jolly parties, a late hour and a bottle--I love ease, hate ceremony, and am at home wherever I go--that’s my system, Hamilton--ha, is not that taste, life, philosophy, and summum bonum--ha, my dear, at home wherever I go, an’t I, Diggerty.