The Trysting Place: A Farce in One ActTarkington, Booth
General
The Trysting Place: A Farce in One Act
Tarkington, Booth
American drama -- 20th century; Farces; Hotels -- Drama; Man-woman relationships -- Drama
INGOLDSBY (_undecided, but very angry_)
We ought to know who’s spying on us like this.
MRS. BRIGGS (_clutching at him_)
Oh!
THE MYSTERIOUS VOICE (_indignantly_)
I’m not spying! This is a public room in a public hotel--
MRS. BRIGGS (_moaning_)
Oh!
THE MYSTERIOUS VOICE (_continuing_)
Any guest of this hotel has a right to sit here in peace, and if you
_will_ go on talking about your private affairs in a public room--
MRS. BRIGGS (_leaning on Ingoldsby’s arm_)
Oh, my!
THE MYSTERIOUS VOICE (_continuing heatedly_)
Why, it’s your own fault, not mine. I was only warning you not to go
any further. I’ve heard enough of other people’s private affairs for
one afternoon, anyhow.
MRS. BRIGGS (_almost hysterically_)
Oh, let’s go! (_She swings the reluctant and angry Ingoldsby toward
the left entrance._) Let’s _go_!
INGOLDSBY (_turning to call back angrily_)
I don’t know who you are, sir; but when I’ve seen this lady to a--a
place of safety--I _intend_ to know. I’ll be _back_ here, sir.
THE MYSTERIOUS VOICE
Fine!
MRS. BRIGGS
Oh, mercy! (_She moves hastily away from Ingoldsby as Jessie suddenly
comes in, from the left, confronting them._)
JESSIE (_halting sharply_)
What in the world’s the matter?
MRS. BRIGGS (_in a shaking voice_)
Nothing! Nothing at all, Jessie. Why should you think anything’s the
matter?
JESSIE
Why, you’re all upset!
MRS. BRIGGS (_trying hard to seem lightly amused, and failing_)
Not at all--not at all! I was just sitting here a moment with Mr.
Ingoldsby, chatting over old times and--and then we decided to leave.
We decided to leave--that’s all. I--I’m--(_Suddenly she starts, and
with an incoherent exclamation looks behind her. Then she faces
Jessie and, with a painful effort to smile, completes her sentence._)
I’m all right.
JESSIE
Yes, you seem so. Mr. Ingoldsby, will you kindly tell me what you’ve
been saying to my mother to upset her so?
MRS. BRIGGS
But I’m not--
INGOLDSBY (_checking her sharply_)
Miss Briggs, I should not be likely to say anything disrespectful to
my old and dear friend, your mother. (_Looking around angrily._) The
truth is, there’s an eavesdropping scoundrel concealed in this room,
and I--
JESSIE (_alarmed_)
What! Oh, I’m _sure_ there isn’t.
INGOLDSBY
There is! An eavesdropping--
THE MYSTERIOUS VOICE (_angrily_)
This is a public room, I told you. How can I help it if you--
INGOLDSBY
I can’t stand this. He’s behind that chair.
(_He breaks away from Mrs. Briggs and Jessie, who both clutch at
him._)
JESSIE (_crying out_)
Don’t! _Please_ don’t!
MRS. BRIGGS (_simultaneously_)
Henry! Don’t!
(_But Ingoldsby has already reached the Philippine chair that has its
back turned toward the front of the stage; he seizes Rupert by the
collar and drags him forth. Rupert is horrified._)
INGOLDSBY
Come out of there, you scoundrel. Come out to the light of day.
RUPERT (_hastily_)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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