“Nothing!” he said; “what do you mean, Mary? Why, there is all the past
between us--a hundred things that cannot be undone by anything in the
future. You know how many things there are connected with you which are
a mystery to me--things not affecting you alone, but others. How you
went away, for instance; and what became of you, and how much my mother
had to do with it? You must have known the moment I found you that all
these questions remained to be asked.”
“All these questions,” she said, “are made quite unimportant by two
things. First, that I am the wife, though now the widow, of a man I
loved dearly--and that you have begun to love, begun to think of, some
one very different from me.”
“Ah!” he said, with a strange brief utterance of distress. Whether he
was grieved to think of the wrong he was doing me, or whether the
strange position he stood in troubled him, I cannot tell; but there was
pain in the cry he gave--“ah!” with a little shiver. “You have
abundance of power to pain me,” he said, very low, “but it seems strange
you should upbraid me. Yes, I have begun to think of some one else; but
that does not prevent me from being deeply startled, deeply moved, by
the sight of you.”
There was a little silence then, and I came to myself slowly. I woke as
it were out of a trance. She knew I was there, but he did not. I had no
right to hear his secrets without warning him. I tried to get up, but
could not at first. I felt stiff and weary, as if I had been travelling
for days together. I could scarcely drag myself up from my chair. The
sound I made in rising might have warned him, but I do not think he
heard. Before I could drag myself to the door and show I was there, he
had begun again.
“Mary,” he said, lingering upon the name as if he loved it, “this is not
a time for recrimination. Tell me how you left Chester Street, and what
my mother had to do with it? and then, if you choose, I will never see
you again.”
“Is it for your mother, or for me?”
I did not hear the answer. I could not stay longer. I got to the door
somehow, and threw it open. I was too much bewildered to know what I was
doing, or to think. I came out with a little rush as feeble creatures
do. “I want to get away. I want to go out. I cannot stay there all day
and hear you talking,” I said. I was not addressing either her or him.
The sound of my voice must have been very piteous, for I remember it
even now.
“Mary!” he cried.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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