That was a very strange day: the excitement of the morning, and then the
other excitement; and to feel that I had a secret from her, and that he
was seated upstairs giving no sign, taking no notice of our existence
all day long. I was so agitated and disturbed that I did not know what
to do. At last I settled myself in the schoolroom to do some
translations. When one has been looking for a long time for a holiday,
and something happens to spoil the holiday when it comes, it is worse
even than if that something had happened on an ordinary day. I think
Mary was glad to be left to herself, for instead of our ordinary
companionship, she sat in the parlour at work all the long afternoon,
and I in the schoolroom. One of the doors was half opened between us.
She could hear my pen scratching on the paper, and the rustling of the
leaves of my dictionary--and I could hear her moving softly over her
work. It was autumn by this time, and the days were growing short, and
neither of us cared to ring for tea; and I think Ellen was cooking
dinner for Mr Durham and forgot us at the usual hour. We still sat as we
had been all the afternoon when the twilight came on. I laid down my
pen, having no light to write by, when I heard some one knock softly at
the parlour door.
Mary made no reply. She sat quite still, never stirring. The knock came
again; then I, too, put my paper away from me and listened. The door
opened, and some one came into the parlour. How well I knew who it was!
I listened now so intently that nothing escaped me. How could it be
wrong? He must have come to talk to her of me.
“Mary!” he said. I rose up softly in my excitement, thinking it was me
he was calling; but before I could move further a strange consciousness
came over me that it was not me he meant. The old feeling with which I
had heard my father call Mary came into my very soul--but worse, a
hundred times worse. Oh, had he too another Mary besides me?
“Mary!” he said, breathless, and then paused. “How has all this come
about? Why do I find you here? What does it mean? There are many
explanations which I have a right to ask. You disappear from me--sent
away--I know not how; and then--not to count the years that have
passed--after these three months, in which you must have known me, I
find you by chance----”
She knew that I was within hearing, and that whatever she said to him
must be to me too. If that was a restraint upon her, I cannot tell. I
felt sorry for her vaguely in my mind; but yet I did not move.
“I did not wish you to find me at all,” she said, very low. “Mr Durham,
there is and can be nothing between you and me.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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