German fiction -- Translations into English; Germany -- Fiction; Sin -- Fiction
Johanna came nearer to her, and in a voice which seemed nearly to choke
her, she hissed in her ear--
"I will be honest. Yes, I hate you, I never hated my husband as much as
I hate you. But that is not here or there. It has nothing to do with
the matter in hand. As far as I am concerned, you might lead as
pleasure-loving and sinful a life as you pleased. I shouldn't care. But
you have laid hands on those who are dear to me. I could tear my own
eyes out over it. Why should I spare you?"
"This is the right moment," thought Felicitas. And pressing her hand to
her beating heart, she said, with the same martyr-like air--
"If that is the reason, Johanna, you and I are quits after all."
"What do you mean?"
"Don't you see that to-day you yourself are laying hands on some one
dear to you?"
Johanna shrank back a little, her eyes opened wide with a fixed
expression, as if she beheld in front of her this approaching evil. And
Felicitas continued--
"Don't you see that it will hurt _him_? Aren't you afraid that it may
kill him? But you are strong, and you are so great, Johanna, that you
would rather he died than remained the possession of one unworthy of
him. All I say is, that you ought to have done sooner what you intend
to do to-day. It should have been done before habit had made him used
to the new conditions. I speak of 'habit' because I daren't mention
love in your presence."
Johanna spread her trembling hands on the table, and Felicitas
continued in a still humbler and more resigned tone.
"Perhaps my imagination paints things too black. Perhaps he may recover
from the blow which is to be dealt him ... for it lies with you,
Johanna, to repair this day's work and to help him to forget it."
Johanna started up. Her eyes pierced the face of her opponent
anxiously.
"What are you trying to convey to me?" she stammered.
Felicitas went on, with her plaintive smile. "I only know this,
Johanna, that I--I shall not recover from it. Whether he shoots me,
whether I throw myself into the river, I don't care. Perhaps neither
will happen. He is so kind and noble ... and I--I am so afraid of
death. Maybe I shall perish in shame and misery somewhere, for I am
rudderless, Johanna. I count for nothing. In any case, I shall be
cleared out of the way; from henceforth I shall be as good as dead; as
you said, Johanna, there can be no fencing between us, least of all
to-day. Why, then, conceal anything?" She opened her arms, "We love
him, both of us, I as much as you ... this is the ground of our hate."
Johanna cried aloud. She made a motion with her fingers as if she would
spring on the defenceless woman, then collapsed on to the sofa and
buried her face in the cushions.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account