England -- Fiction; Mothers and daughters -- Fiction
Then there was Uncle John. Uncle John's portrait looked down from the
dining-room wall--Uncle John young, with white stock and keen eyes. That
Uncle John seemed to point to himself and say: "I was young too, and yet
I never strayed; what was good enough for my father was good enough for
me and ought to be good enough for my nephew and for you, Elizabeth."
Then there was Uncle John's later portrait on the wall of the
study--Uncle John, old, wearing a corded black tie, his eyes rather dim
and appealing, like the eyes of a good old dog. That Uncle John was the
worse of the two; you felt that you could throw a plate at the youthful,
smug, self-assertive Uncle John in the dining-room, but you couldn't
hurt this Uncle John because he seemed to expect you to hurt him. This
Uncle John didn't point to himself, he had nothing to say, but you knew
what he wanted. He wanted to see you living in the old house among the
old things; he wanted to see Ralph at the old desk in the old office. He
needed you; he depended on you, he clung to you softly, persistently;
you couldn't shake him off. He had clung to Ralph like that, softly,
persistently; for latterly the strong will had broken and he had become
very gentle. And now Ralph clung to Elizabeth, and Uncle John clung too,
through Ralph.
Elizabeth got up. She flung open the window--let the air come in, let
the sea come in! Oh! If a tidal wave would come and wash it all away,
sweep it away; the house, Uncle John and Elizabeth to whom he clung
through Ralph! Tradition! She clenched her hands; damn their tradition;
another name for slavery, an excuse for keeping slaves! What was she
doing with her life? Nothing. Uncle John saw to that. Yes, she was doing
something, she was allowing it to be slowly and surely strangled to
death, soon it would be gone, like a drop squeezed into the reservoir of
Eternity; soon it would be lost for ever and she would still be
alive--and she was so young! A lump rose in her throat; her hopes had
been high--not brilliant, perhaps--still she had done well at Cambridge,
there were posts open to her.
She might have written, but not at Seabourne. People didn't write at
Seabourne, they borrowed the books that other people had written, from
Mr. Besant of the Circulating Library, and talked foolishly about them
at their afternoon teas, wagging their heads and getting the foreign
names all wrong, if there were any. Oh! She had heard them! And Ralph
would get like that. Get? He was like that already; Ralph had
prejudices, timid ones, but there was strength in their numbers. Ralph
approved and disapproved. Ralph shook his head over Elizabeth's smoking
and nodded it over her needlework. Ralph liked womanly women; well,
Elizabeth liked manly men. If she wasn't a womanly woman, Ralph wasn't a
manly man. Oh, poor little Ralph, what a beast she was!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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