While Quincy moved about to hide his deep discomfiture at this set
occasion, and to submerge in casualness his qualms as to meeting
expectations, Adelaide sat calmly in an armless chair and waited for her
brother to subside. She ventured no word. She did not appear to dislike
this silence which was so patently wracking him. The truth was that she
was forcing herself to bear it. It hurt. But it was the one way, she
thought, of testing Quincy’s willingness to be a friend and to be loved.
That she might hazard a first step toward a desired consequence with
equal right, simply did not occur to Adelaide. She was the sort of girl
to whom social initiative was as repugnant as nakedness--and for the
self-same reason. The obscure channelings of sex in girls spread it at
times so widely from its normal moorings that the remotest mental
regions become colored, with the result that some amenities of social
life are as impossible for them as a crude, physical aggression. Most
girls of this girl’s age and background would have been just so silent
and so passive before a man from whom they awaited a proposal. Adelaide
hoped for a mere sisterly relation--the privilege of friendship with a
brother. Yet, with this seemingly humble dream, her way was that of a
girl aroused and wooed. And the reason, although she might never know
it, was that within, her condition also was the same.
Of course, Quincy did not understand. He saw merely that Adelaide was at
her ancient trick of silence and of resenting his--as if the right of
silence lay all with her, the need of speaking entirely with him. This,
with the set formality of their retiring to her room, and the portrait
of Sylvia and an indescribable something that was Adelaide herself,
conjoined to complete his mood. It was a mood pathetically different
from what Adelaide had hoped for. And this also dawned on Quincy:--that
it would have been easier for him had she succeeded.
In this mood, silence grew too oppressive and he began to speak. Wonder
was small that the girl’s first confession at his words was pain. But
from the discord of these two unrhythmed ones--a discord ashamed of
itself--came a great pity; and from this at length, a sort of rhythm
between them. So talk grew possible, and there was born, slow and
unheeded, the boy’s intuition:--that Adelaide was in the ruck and base
of life, and that, with her at life’s pinnacle, there had been room
there, too, for him.
She showed her wish to know about his friends. Quincy spoke of Garsted.
“Next time you come to town, why not bring him with you?”
“If I knew--” he stopped.
“If you knew what?” she asked. She could easily have completed his
remark. It had to do with his insecurity at home. He would not care to
bring a friend--granted it was allowed--and have himself humiliated
before a guest. Garsted had never seemed to understand his rank at home.
Garsted told him, in a year college would respect him. And his family
had had seventeen years.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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