JONES. Irish Poland’s one of the new European countries. They took a sort of job lot of territories that nobody could use and made a country out of them. It’s got three or four acres of Russia and a couple of mines in Austria and a few lots in Bulgaria and Turkey. JERRY. Show them all out here. JONES. There’s only one. [_He goes into the White House, returning immediately._] JONES. The Honorable Snooks, or Snukes, Ambassador to the United States from Irish Poland. _The Honorable Snooks comes out through the swinging doors. His resemblance to Mr. Snooks, the bootlegger, is, to say the least, astounding. But his clothes--they are the clothes of the Corps Diplomatique. Red stockings enclose his calves, fading at the knee into black satin breeches. His coat, I regret to say, is faintly reminiscent of the Order of Mystic Shriners, but a broad red ribbon slanting diagonally across his diaphragm gives the upper part of his body a svelte, cosmopolitan air. At his side is slung an unusually long and cumbersome sword._ _He comes in slowly, I might even say cynically, and after a brief nod at Jerry, surveys his surroundings with an appraising eye._ _Jones goes to the table and begins writing._ SNOOKS. Got a nice house, ain’t you? JERRY [_still depressed from recent reverses_]. Yeah. SNOOKS. Wite, hey? JERRY [_as if he had just noticed it_]. Yeah, white. SNOOKS [_after a pause_]. Get dirty quick. JERRY [_adopting an equally laconic manner_]. Have it washed. SNOOKS. How’s your old woman? JERRY [_uneasily_]. She’s all right. Have a cigar? SNOOKS [_taking the proffered cigar_]. Thanks. JERRY. That’s all right. I got a lot of them. SNOOKS. That’s some cigar. JERRY. I got a lot of them. I don’t smoke that kind myself, but I got a lot of them. SNOOKS. That’s swell. JERRY [_becoming boastful_]. See that tree? [_The white tree._] Look, that’s a special tree. You never saw a tree like that before. Nobody’s got one but me. That tree was given to me by some natives. SNOOKS. That’s swell. JERRY. See this cane? The band around it’s solid gold. SNOOKS. Is that right? I thought maybe it was to keep the squirrels from crawling up. [_Abruptly._] Need any liquor? I get a lot, you know, on account of bein’ an ambassador. Gin, vermuth, bitters, absinthe? JERRY. No, I don’t.... See that sign? I bet you never saw one like that before. I had it invented. SNOOKS [_bored_]. Class. [_Switching the subject._] I hear you made your old man Secretary of the Treasury. JERRY. My father used to work in a---- SNOOKS. You’d ought to made him official Sandy Claus.... How you gettin’ away with your job? JERRY [_lying_]. Oh, fine--fine! You ought to see the military review they had for me last week. Thousands and thousands of soldiers, and everybody cheered when they saw me. [_Heartily._] It was sort of inspiring. SNOOKS. I seen you plantin’ trees in the movies.