The Vicar of Morwenstow: Being a Life of Robert Stephen Hawker, M.A. — John Shaqi
The Vicar of Morwenstow: Being a Life of Robert Stephen Hawker, M.A.Baring-Gould, S. (Sabine)
General
The Vicar of Morwenstow: Being a Life of Robert Stephen Hawker, M.A.
Baring-Gould, S. (Sabine)
Hawker, Robert Stephen, 1803?-1875
“In due time we sat down in that happy ignorance as to the nature of our
viands which a French cook is said to desire; and, although we both made
a not unsatisfactory meal, it is a wretched truth that by no effort
could we ascertain what it was that was roasted for us that day by widow
Treworgy, and which we consumed. Was it a piece of Boscastle baby? as I
suggested to my companion. The question caused him to rush out to
inquire again; but he came back baffled and shouting, ‘Meat and taties.’
There was not a vestige of bone, nor any outline that could identify the
joint; and the not unsavoury taste was something like tender veal. It
was not till years afterwards that light was thrown on our mysterious
dinner that day by a passage which I accidently turned up in an ancient
history of Cornwall. Therein I read, ‘that the silly people of
Bouscastle and Boussiney do catch in the summer seas divers young soyles
(seals), which, doubtful if they be fish or flesh, conynge housewives
will nevertheless roast, and do make thereof savory meat.’”
Very early next morning, before any one else was awake, Hawker and Jeune
left the inn, and, going to all the pig-sties of the place, released
their occupants. They then stole back to their beds.
“We fastened the door, and listened for results. The outcries and yells
were fearful. By-and-by human voices began to mingle with the tumult:
there were shouts of inquiry and surprise, then sounds of expostulation
and entreaty, and again ‘a storm of hate and wrath and wakening fear.’
At last the tumult reached the ears of our hostess, Joan Treworgy. We
heard her puff and blow, and call for Jim. At last, after waiting a
prudent time, we thought it best to call aloud for shaving-water, and to
inquire with astonishment into the cause of that horrible disturbance
which had roused us from our morning sleep. This brought the widow in
hot haste to our door. ‘Why, they do say, captain,’ was her doleful
response, ‘that all the pegs up-town have a-rebelled, and they’ve
a-been, and let one the wother out, and they be all a-gwain to sea,
hug-a-mug, bang!’”
Some years after, when Mr. Jeune was Dean of Magdalen Hall, Mr. Hawker
went up to take his M.A. degree. The dean on that occasion was,
according to custom, leading a gentleman-commoner of the same college, a
very corpulent man, to the vice-chancellor, to present him for his
degree, with a Latin speech. Hawker was waiting his turn. The place was
crowded, and the fat gentleman-commoner was got with difficulty through
the throng to the place. Hawker leaned towards the dean as he was
leading and endeavouring to guide this unwieldy candidate, who hung
back, and got hitched in the crowd, and said in a low tone:—
“Why, your peg’s surely mazed, maister.”
When the crowd gave way, and the dean reached the vice-chancellor’s
chair, he was in spasms of uncontrollable laughter.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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