The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 1 of 5)Burney, Fanny
History
The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 1 of 5)
Burney, Fanny
France -- History -- Revolution, 1789-1799 -- Refugees -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Refugees -- Fiction; War stories
'Ellis,' she presently added, 'find Harleigh; tell him I wish him a good
journey from the summer-house in the garden. Not a soul ever enters it
at this time of the year. Bid him go thither directly. I shall soon join
him. I will wait in my room till you call me. Be quick!'
Ellis required not to have this order repeated: to place her under the
care of Harleigh, and intimate to him the excess of her love, with the
apprehensions which she now herself conceived of the dangerous state of
her mind, was all that could be wished; and where so essential a service
might be rendered, or a mischief be prevented, personal punctilio was
out of the question.
He was not in the hall; but, from one of the windows, she perceived him
walking near the house. A painful sensation, upon being obliged again,
to force herself upon his notice, disturbed, though she would not suffer
it to check her. He was speaking with his groom. She stopt at the
hall-door, with a view to catch his eye, and succeeded; but he bowed
without approaching her, and continued to discourse with his groom.
To seem bent upon pursuing him, when he appeared himself to think that
he had gone too far, and even to mean to shun her, dyed her cheeks of
the deepest vermilion; though she compelled herself, from a terrour of
the danger of delay, to run across the gravel-walk before the house, to
address him. He saw her advance, with extreme surprise, but by no means
with the same air of pleasure, that he had manifested in the morning.
His look was embarrassed, and he seemed unwilling to meet her eyes. Yet
he awaited her with a respect that made his groom, unbidden, retire to
some distance; though to await her at all, when he might have met her,
struck her, even in this hurried and terrified moment, as offering the
strongest confirmation which she had yet received, that it was not a man
of pleasure or of gallantry, but of feeling and of truth, into whose way
she was thus singularly and frequently cast: and the impression which
she had made upon his mind, had never, to her hitherto nearly absorbed
faculties, appeared to be so serious or so sincere, as now, when he
first evidently struggled to disguise a partiality, which he seemed
persuaded that he had, now, first betrayed. The sensations which this
discovery might produce in herself were unexamined: the misery with
which it teemed for Elinor, and a desire to relieve his own delicacy, by
appearing unconscious of his secret, predominated: and she assumed
sufficient self-command, to deliver the message of Elinor, with a look,
and in a voice, that seemed insensible and unobservant of every other
subject.
He soon, now, recovered his usual tone, and disengaged manner. 'She must
certainly,' he said, 'be obeyed; though I so little expected such a
summons, that I was giving directions for my departure.'
'Ah, no!' cried Ellis, 'rather again defer it.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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