The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 1 of 5)Burney, Fanny
History
The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 1 of 5)
Burney, Fanny
France -- History -- Revolution, 1789-1799 -- Refugees -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Refugees -- Fiction; War stories
'Die, yes!' answered Elinor, with a smile triumphant though ghastly; 'or
sleep! call it which you will! so animation be over, so feeling be past,
so my soul no longer linger under the leaden oppression of
disappointment; under sickness of all mortal existence; under incurable,
universal disgust:--call it what you please, sleep, rest, or death;
termination is all I seek.'
'And is there, Elinor, no other name for what follows our earthly
dissolution?' cried Harleigh, with a shuddering frown. 'What say you if
we call it immortality?'
'Will you preach to me?' cried she, her eyes darting fire; 'will you bid
me look forward to yet another life, when this, short as it is deemed, I
find insupportable? Ah, Harleigh! Harleigh!' her eyes suffusing with
sudden tenderness; 'were I your's--I might wish indeed to be immortal!'
Harleigh was extremely affected: he approached her, took her hand, and
soothingly said, 'My dear Elinor, compose your spirits, exert your
strength of mind, and suffer us to discuss these subjects at some
length.'
'No, Harleigh; I must not trust myself to your fascinations! How do I
know but they might bewitch me out of my reason, and entangle me, again,
in those antique superstitions which make misery so cowardly? No,
Harleigh! the star of Ellis has prevailed, and I sink beneath its
influence. Else, only sometimes to see you, to hear of you, to watch
you, and to think of you always, I would still live, nay, feel joy in
life; for still my imagination would gift you, ultimately, with
sensibility to my regard. But I anticipate the union which I see to be
inevitable, and I spare my senses the shock which I feel would demolish
them.--Harleigh!--dearest Harleigh, Adieu!'
A paleness like that of death overspread her face.
'What is it,' cried Harleigh, inexpressibly alarmed, 'what is it Elinor
means?'
'To re-conquer, by the courage of my death, the esteem I may leave
forfeited by my jealousy, my envy, my littleness in life! You only could
have corrected my errours; you, by your ascendance over my feelings,
might have refined them into virtues. Oh, Harleigh! weigh not alone my
imperfections when you recollect my attachment! but remember that I have
loved you so as woman never loved!'
Her voice now faultered, and she shook so violently that she could
not support herself. She put her hand gently upon the arm of Harleigh,
and, gliding nearly behind him, leant upon his shoulder. He would have
spoken words of comfort, but she seemed incapable of hearing him.
'Farewell!' she cried, 'Harleigh! Never will I live to see Ellis
your's!--Farewell!--a long farewell!'
Precipitately she then opened the shagreen case, and was drawing out its
contents, when Ellis, darting forward, caught her arm, and screamed,
rather than articulated, 'Ellis will never be his!--Forbear!
Forbear!--Ellis never will be his!'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account