The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 5 of 5)Burney, Fanny
History
The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 5 of 5)
Burney, Fanny
France -- History -- Revolution, 1789-1799 -- Refugees -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Refugees -- Fiction; War stories
She now turned away, to hide a starting tear; but, soon resuming her
usually lively manner, said, 'I have traced you, at last, together; and
by means of our caustick, bilious fellow-traveller, Riley; whom I
encountered by accident; and who runs, snarling, yet curious, after his
fellow-creatures, working at making himself enemies, as if enmity were a
pleasing, or lucrative profession! From him I learnt, that he had just
seen you,--and together!--near Salisbury. I discovered you, Ellis, two
days ago; but Harleigh, though I have been roving some time in your
vicinity, only this moment.'
A sudden shriek now broke from her, and Juliet, affrighted and looking
around, perceived Harleigh pacing hastily away.
The shriek reached him, and he stopt.
'Fly, fly, to him,' she cried, 'Ellis; assure him, I have no present
personal project; none! I solemnly promise, none! But I have an opinion
to gather from him, of which my ignorance burns, devours me, and will
not let me rest, alive nor dead!'
Juliet, distressed, irresolute, ventured not to move.
''Tis his duty,' continued Elinor, 'after his solemn declaration, to
initiate me into his motives for believing in a future state. I have
been distracting my burthened senses over theological works; but my head
is in no condition to comprehend them. They treat, also, of belief in a
future state, as of a thing not to be proved, but to be taken for
granted. Let him penetrate me with his own notions; or frankly
acknowledge their insufficiency. But let him mark that they are indeed
his own! Let them be neither fanatical, illusory, nor traditional.'
Juliet was compelled to obey; but while she was repeating her message,
Elinor descended the hill, and they all met at its foot.
'Harleigh,' she cried, 'fear me not! Do not imagine I shall again go
over the same ground;--at least, not with the monotonous stupidity of
again going over it in the same manner. Yet believe not my resolution to
be shaken! But I have some doubts, relative to your own principles and
opinions, of which I demand a solution.'
She then seated herself upon the turf, and made Harleigh seat himself
before her, while Juliet remained by her side.
'Can you feign, Harleigh? Can you endure to act a part, in defiance of
your nobler nature, merely to prolong my detested life? Do you join in
the popular cry against suicide, merely to arrest my impatient hand? If
not, initiate me, I beseech, in the series of pretended reasoning, by
which honour, honesty, and understanding such as yours, have been duped
into bigotry? How is it, explain! that you can have been worked upon to
believe in an existence after death? Ah, Harleigh! could you, indeed,
give so sublime a resting-place to my labouring ideas!--I would consent
to enter the ecclesiastical court myself, to sing the recantation of
what you deem my errours. And then, Albert, I might learn,--with all my
wretchedness!--to bear to live,--for then, I might seek and foster some
hope in dying!'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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