The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 5 of 5)Burney, Fanny
History
The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 5 of 5)
Burney, Fanny
France -- History -- Revolution, 1789-1799 -- Refugees -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Refugees -- Fiction; War stories
'Dear Elinor!' cried Harleigh, gently, almost tenderly, 'let me send for
some divine!'
'How conscious is this retreat,' she cried, 'of the weakness of your
cause! Ah! why thus try to bewilder a poor forlorn traveller, who is
dropping with fatigue upon her road? and to fret and goad her on, when
the poor tortured wretch languishes to give up the journey altogether?
Why not rather, more generously, more like yourself, aid her to attain
repose? to open her burning veins, and bid her pent up blood flow freely
to her relief? or kindly point the steel to her agonized heart, whose
last sigh would be ecstacy if it owed its liberation to your pitying
hand! Oh Harleigh! what vain prejudice, what superstitious sophistry,
robs me of the only solace that could soothe my parting breath?'
'What is it Elinor means?' cried Harleigh, alarmed, yet affecting to
speak lightly: 'Has she no compunction for the labour she causes my
blood in thus perpetually accelerating its circulation.'
'Pardon me, dear Harleigh, I have inadvertently run from my purpose to
my wishes. To the point, then. Make me, if it be possible, conceive how
your reason has thus been played upon, and your discernment been set
asleep. I have studied this matter abroad, with the ablest casuists, I
have met with; and though I may not retain, or detail their reasoning,
well enough to make a convert of any other, they have fixed for ever in
my own mind, a conviction that death and annihilation are one. Why do
you knit your brow?--And see how Ellis starts!--And why do you both look
at me as if I were mad? Mad? because I would rather crush misery than
endure it? Mad? because I would rather, at my own time, die the death of
reason, than by compulsion, and when least disposed, that of nature? Of
reason, that appreciates life but by enjoyment; not of nature, that
would make misery linger, till malady or old age dissolve the worn out
fabric. To indulge our little miserable fears and propensities, we give
flattering epithets to all our meannesses; for what is endurance of
worldly pain and affliction but folly? what patience, but insipidity?
what suffering, but cowardice? Oh suicide! triumphant antidote to woe!
straight forward, unerring route to rest, to repose! I call upon thy
aid! I invoke--'
'Repose?--rest?' interrupted Harleigh, 'how earned? By deserting our
duties? By quitting our posts? By forsaking and wounding all by whom we
are cherished?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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