The Water Goats, and Other TroublesButler, Ellis Parker
General
The Water Goats, and Other Troubles
Butler, Ellis Parker
Fiction; Humorous stories; Short stories, American
“Stop, Dugan!” said Toole hastily. “I forgive him. Me mind will likely
be all right by mornin'. 'Tis purty good yit, ixcipt on th' subjict of
dongolas. I'm timporarily out of remimbrance what dongolas is. 'Tis odd
how thim knock-out drops works, Grevemeyer.”
“Ya!” said the alderman unsuspectingly, “gifing such a forgetfulness on
such easy things as dongolas.”
“Sure! You tell Dugan what dongolas is, Grevemeyer,” said Toole quickly.
Grevemeyer looked at his glass thoughtfully. His mind worked slowly
always, but he saw that it would not do for him to have knock-out drops
so soon after Toole.
“Ach!” he exclaimed angrily. “You are insulting to me mit such questions
Toole. So much will I tell you--never ask Germans what is dongolas. It
is not for Germans to talk about such things. Ask Casey.”
Casey scratched his head thoughtfully.
“Dongolas?” he repeated. “I have heard th' word, Grevemeyer. Wait a bit!
'Tis something about shoes. Sure! I remimber, now! 'Twas dongola shoes
wan of me kids had, last winter, an' no good they were, too. Dongolas is
shoes, Grevemeyer--laced shoes--dongolas is laced shoes.”
The big mayor leaned his head far back and laughed long and loud. He
pounded on the bar with his fist, and slapped Toole on the back.
“Laced shoes!” he cried, wiping his eyes, and then he became suddenly
serious. “'Twould not be shoes, Casey,” he said gravely. “Thim dongolas
was ricomminded by th' landscape-gardener from New Yorrk. 'Twould not be
sinsible t' ricommind us put a pair of laced shoes in th' park lake fer
th' kids t' ride on.”
“'Twould not seem so,” said Toole, shaking his head wisely. “I wisht me
mind was like it always is. 'Tis a pity--”
“Stop!” cried Casey. “I have it! Thim was kid shoes. Thim dongolas was
kid shoes.”
“So said, Casey,” said Duo'an “For th' kid.”
“No,” said Casey, “of th' kid.”
“Sure!” said Gravemeyer. “So it is--the shoes of the child.”
“Right fer ye!” exclaimed Casey. “Th' kid shoes of th' kid. 'Twas kid
leather they were made out of, Dugan. Th' dongola is some fancy kind
of a goat. Like box-calf is th' skin of th' calf of th' box-cow. Th'
dongola is some foreign kind of a goat, Dugan.”
“Ho, ho-o-o!” cried Toole, suddenly, knocking on his forehead with
the knuckles of his fist. The three men turned their eyes upon him and
stared.
“What ails ye now, Mike?” asked Dugan, disgustedly.
“Ho-o-o!” he cried again, slapping himself on the top of his head. “Me
mind is comm' back t' me, Dugan! Th' effects of th' knock-out drops is
wearin' off! I recall now that th' dongola is some fancy kind of a goat.
'Twill all come back t' me soon.
“Go along wid ye!” exclaimed Dugan. “Would ye be puttin' a goat in th'
lake for th' kids t' ride on?”
“Sure!” said Toole enthusiastically. “Sure I would, Dugan. Not th'
common goat I wouldn't. But dongola goats I would. Have ye heard of
dongola water goats, Casey? Was thim dongola goat skin shoes warranted
t' be water-proof?”
Casey wrinkled his brow.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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