The Water Goats, and Other TroublesButler, Ellis Parker
General
The Water Goats, and Other Troubles
Butler, Ellis Parker
Fiction; Humorous stories; Short stories, American
When the goats arrived in Jeffersonville the two heavy crates were
hauled to Alderman Toole's back yard to await the opening of the park,
and there Mayor Dugan and Goat Keeper Fagan came to inspect them.
Alderman Toole led the way to them with pride, and Mayor Dugan's creased
brow almost uncreased as he bent down and peered between the bars of the
crates. They were fine goats. Perhaps they looked somewhat more dejected
than a goat usually looks--more dirty and down at the heels than a goat
often looks--but they were undoubtedly goats. As specimens of ordinary
Irish goats they might not have passed muster with a careful buyer, but
no doubt they were excellent examples of the dongola.
“Ye have done good, Mike,” said the mayor. “Ye have done good! But ain't
they mebby a bit off their feed--or something?”
“Off their feed!” said Toole. “An' who wouldn't be, poor things? Mind
ye, Dugan, thim is not common goats--thim is dongolas--an' used to bein'
in th' wather con-continuous from mornin' till night. 'Tis sufferin' for
a swim they be, poor animals. Wance let thim git in th' lake an' ye will
see th' difference, Dugan. 'Twill make all th' difference in th' worrld
t' thim. 'Tis dyin' for a swim they are.”
“Sure!” said the Keeper of the Water Goats. “Ye have done good, Mike,”
said the mayor again. “Thim dongolas will be a big surprise for th'
people.”
They were. They surprised the Keeper of the Goats first of all. The day
before the park was to be opened to the public the goats were taken to
the park and turned over to their official keeper. At eleven
o'clock that morning Alderman Toole was leaning against Casey's bar,
confidentially pouring into his ear the story of how the dongolas had
given their captors a world of trouble, swimming violently to the far
reaches of Lake Geneva and hiding among the bulrushes and reeds, when
the swinging door of the saloon was banged open and Tim Fagan rushed in.
He was mad. He was very mad, but he was a great deal wetter than mad. He
looked as if he had been soaked in water over night, and not wrung out
in the morning.
“Mike!” he whispered hoarsely, grasping the little alderman by the arm.
“I want ye! I want ye down at th' park.”
A chill of fear passed over Alderman Toole. He turned his face to Fagan
and laid his hand on his shoulder.
“Tim,” he demanded, “has annything happened t' th' dongolas?”
“Is annything happened t' th' dongolas!” exclaimed Fagan sarcastically.
“Is annything wrong with thim water goats? Oh, no, Toole! Nawthin'
has gone wrong with thim! Only they won't go into th' wather, Mike! Is
annything gone wrong with thim, did ye say? Nawthin'! They be in good
health, but they are not crazy t' be swimmin'. Th' way they do not
hanker t' dash into th' water is marvellous, Mike. No water for thim!”
“Hist!” said Toole uneasily, glancing around to see that no one but
Casey was in hearing. “Mebby ye have not started thim right, Tim.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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