Or was she gently, subtly, almost mysteriously excluded from it by
Claude Heath?
She chose to think so. And there were moments in which he chose to think
that she obstinately declined to accept him as her mother accepted him,
because she disliked him, was perhaps jealous of his intimacy with Mrs.
Mansfield.
All this was below the surface. Charmian seemed friendly with Heath, and
he, generally, at ease with her. But when he was alone with Mrs.
Mansfield he was a different man. At first she thought little of this.
She attributed it to the fact that Heath had a reserved nature and that
she happened to hold a key which could unlock it, or unlock a room or
two of it, leaving, perhaps, many rooms closed. But, being not only a
very intelligent but a delicately sensitive woman, she presently began
to think that there was some secret antagonism between her child and
Heath.
This pained her. She even considered whether she ought not to put an end
to her intimacy with Heath. She had grown to value it. She was incapable
of entering into a sentimental relation with any man. She had loved
deeply, had had her beautiful summer. It had died. The autumn was upon
her. She regretted. Often her heart was by a grave, often it was beyond,
seeking, like a bird with spread wings above dark seas seeking the
golden clime it needs and instinctively knows of. But she did not
repine. And she was able to fill her life, to be strongly interested in
people and in events. She mellowed with her great sorrow instead of
becoming blunted by it or withering under it. And so she drew people to
her, and was drawn, in her turn, to them.
Claude Heath had brought into her life something her other friends had
not given her. She realized this clearly when she first considered
Charmian in connection with herself and him. If he ceased from her life,
sank away into the crowd of unseen men, he would leave a gap which
another could not fill. She had a feeling that she was valuable to him.
She did not know exactly how or why. And he was valuable to her.
But of course Charmian was the first interest in her life, had the
first claim upon her consideration. She sat wondering what it was in
Heath which the girl disliked, what it was in Charmian which, perhaps,
troubled or irritated Heath.
Charmian was out that day at an afternoon concert, and Mrs. Mansfield
had made an engagement to go to tea with Heath in his little old house
near St. Petersburg Place. She had never yet visited him, although she
had known him for nearly three months. And she had never heard a note of
his music. The latter fact did not strike her as strange. She had never
mentioned her dead husband to him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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