As Tom looked at them and pondered what he should say, the answer
suddenly came to him. It came to him like a revelation, and he felt as
if something inside of him had broken, something that had hampered and
restricted him, even without his knowing it. He felt free, suddenly,
free and exultant.
He smiled at them and said: "When Ricky told me this afternoon, I was
afraid; as I talked to several of you since that time, I continued to be
afraid. And I was afraid when I came here tonight. But now, as I look at
your bright faces, I am no longer. You and I are the clan, and the clan
is stronger than anyone outside. Not Marcia, nor Graves, nor anyone else
can break it; only we can break it--only we, by losing faith in it. I
know now that I have not had the faith that I should have. The faith in
you, and in us, and in our relations to each other. As I stood here
looking at the faces of those I talked to, and remembering what you
said, it came to me how foolish I have been.
"I don't know whether this thing is right or not; I don't know what its
ultimate result will be. Maybe it will be good, and maybe bad. But if
it's bad, it won't be so bad as to be a disaster. The clan will survive
anything that may come of it, and may even be the stronger for it. And
if the results are good, why then of course everyone will be the winner
for it. No, I don't know what the results will be, but now I am willing
to face whatever they are without fear, and with confidence in the clan.
"My vote will be to accept Marcia." He sat down feeling quite at peace
with himself for the first time in what seemed like a long, long time.
As Ricky came forward to take the floor again, and ask for further
discussion, Tom looked around. Sandy, he saw, was looking at him with a
smile in her eyes. She approved, he knew. And so did Betsy. She was
watching him with a warm look that spoke her feelings. Pete was staring
off into space, no doubt following down some logical train.
The others were each reacting in their separate ways. Paul was
interested but probably had no idea of what it really was about. Rita,
in her maternal self-absorption, was not really concerned. Polly was
watching him with sympathy for him as a man, but not with any basic
understanding. Sam, with his dead-pan face was hard to read. His
penetrating eyes saw deeply, but what they saw was hard to tell. Herb
was looking around him with awkward movements; he was probably feeling
very shy at the thought of a new member. Marcia, Tom thought, might well
be good for him, teach him a greater social finesse.
And there was Joan, leaning forward intently, no doubt wondering how
Marcia would affect the artistic balance of the group. Mike was looking
interested but not concerned. And Esther was sitting back in her chair
with a vague smile on her lips. Probably, Tom thought with a mental
chuckle, she was already planning some suitable induction ceremony.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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