“Where?” The girl’s voice was hard.
“On the train.”
“He went in to town with me twice last week, and twice the week
before—yes, and yesterday. And he came out with me once.” She counted
out the times as if they were a contravention. “I don’t see how I am
going to help it if people speak to me, I can’t _tell_ them to go away.
_I_ don’t want him to do it! Mr. Sutton took me over the ferry one day;
was that commented on, too?”
There was a passion of tears in her voice, called forth by outraged
modesty—and there is no modesty that feels itself more outraged than
that of the girl who knows she has given some slight cause for reproof.
“Dosia, be reasonable,” said Lois, annoyed that her talk was being made
so hard for her. “I know it’s horrid to be ‘spoken to,’ but Justin is
very particular, and he feels that we are responsible for you. And,
besides, you wouldn’t want it thought that you liked Lawson’s society. I
am to go in to town with you to-morrow, and we will get the hour for
your lesson changed.” She paused for some answer, but none came, and she
went on: “I told Justin that he need not worry, there was no danger of
your caring too much for _Lawson_! That’s nonsense. Why, you know all
_about_ him, and just what he amounts to. But, of course, if you are
seen with him——”
“You need not say any more. I never want to speak to him again!” said
Dosia, strangling. She swept her things from the table and rushed up to
her own room in a whirlwind of indignation and shame, scathed by the
imputation in Lois’ tone. The bubble of her imagining of Lawson was
pricked for the moment by it; it is hard to idealize what another
despises. She felt herself as false to her own estimate of him as she
had hitherto been to the public one.
She threw herself upon the bed face downward. Something that she had
been unconsciously dreading had come upon her—the notice of her little
world. Before it had been voiced to her by Lois she had persistently
considered herself unseen. She cried out now that there was no occasion
for her being “spoken to,” yet she knew with a deep acknowledgment that
she had not been quite true to her highest instincts.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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