"To be your wife. Yes," she said; and this time her blue eyes beneath
their half-closed lids gazed steadfastly at Landri. Her delicate mouth
closed in a fold of decision. Her whole fragile person was as if
stiffened in a tension which proved to the lover the force of the
emotion that she held in check. She repeated: "Yes, I refuse. I could
find many pretexts to give you which, to others, would be good reasons,
and which should be so to me. I have a child. I might say to you: 'I do
not want him to have a stepfather.' That would not be true. You would be
to him, I am sure, as you said, a second father. I might dwell upon my
loss, which is so recent, in order to postpone my reply until later.
Later, the reason which makes me decline the offer of your name would be
the same, for it is just that name, it is what it represents, which
forbids me to abandon myself to a liking of which you have had too many
proofs. I shall soon be twenty-eight, my friend. I am no longer exactly
a young woman. I have reflected much on marriage. I know that if people
marry to love each other, they marry also to live and remain together,
to have a home, to be a family. For that it is essential that there
should not be, between the husband and wife, one of those unalterable
differences of birth and environment, which make it impossible that her
people should ever be really related to his.--Your name? It is not only
very old, it is illustrious. It is blended with the whole history of
France. There was a Maréchal de Claviers-Grandchamp who was a comrade
of Bayard, a Cardinal de Claviers-Grandchamp who was a friend of
Bossuet. Claviers-Grandchamps have been ambassadors, governors of
provinces, commanders of the Saint-Esprit, peers of France. Your house
has contracted alliances with ten other houses of the French or European
aristocracy. You are cousins of English dukes, of German and Italian
princes. You are a _grand seigneur_, and I a bourgeoise, a very petty
bourgeoise.--Do not you interrupt me, either," she said, placing her
slender hand on the young man's arm and arresting thus his protest; "it
is better that I should say it all at once. In all this I am moved
neither by humility nor by pride. I have never understood either of
those sentiments, when there is question of facts so impossible to deny
or to modify as our situation. I am a bourgeoise, I say again. That
means that my people lived in straitened circumstances at first, then
modestly. I consider myself rich with the thirty thousand francs a year
that they saved for me, in how many years! It is a fortune in our world,
in yours it would be ruin. When I walk in that quarter, before those
ancient hôtels which are still to be found there, on the afternoon of a
grand reception, I see their courtyards, the coupés and automobiles
waiting, the footmen in livery, all that luxury of existence which you
no longer notice, it is so natural to you,--and do you know what my
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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