And yet it was absolutely necessary that he should find out whether
Valentine knew and what she knew. The nervous shock had been too
violent. All power of inhibition was momentarily suspended in him. His
thought was certain to become an act the instant that it bore any
relation to the overwhelming revelation that he had had to undergo. So
that it was impossible for him not to cross the courtyard, not to ring
at Madame Olier's door, not to ask if she would receive him. It had not
even occurred to him that it was barely half-past twelve, that their
appointment was for two o'clock, and that the simple fact of his
arriving unexpectedly indicated some extraordinary occurrence. Did he so
much as remember the reason that he and the young woman had made the
appointment, and the passionate and painful interview of yesterday
concerning their marriage? There is a peculiar characteristic of such
uncontrollably excited mental states into which we are cast by a too
abrupt and too violent shock: our mental equilibrium is temporarily
upset. Our most cherished sentiments are arrested as it were, and our
power of prevision as well. We seem to be looking on at the throwing out
of gear of certain all-powerful sensations which lead us where they
choose.
The bell had no sooner rung than Landri would have been glad to flee
again as he had been fleeing. He remained.
"Either later, or now," he said to himself, "I must see her. I prefer
now, and to know at once the whole extent of this dishonor."
When the servant announced that Monsieur le Comte de Claviers-Grandchamp
desired to speak with her, and at once, Valentine was at table, had just
finished taking luncheon with her little boy. During the twenty-four
hours since the young man had left her upon her promise of a final
answer to his offer of marriage, she had been constantly in the throes
of the last convulsions of the struggle that had been waged for three
years between her love and her duty first, her good sense next. That
exclamation with which their interview had ended, that "now I am all
his," had been followed by a supreme effort to resist. The serious
objections that she had urged had presented themselves anew with a force
which Landri's disclosures concerning the secret difficulties of his
relations with his father had not lessened--quite the contrary. One
thing had grown less: her authority over her friend. By consenting to
reconsider her first refusal, she had proved too plainly her weakness
before the young man's passion. She realized that, and she was alarmed
to observe how sweet the sensation of yielding to that force was to her.
Irresistible inward intoxication of the woman who begins to give
herself! To give herself! A phrase so simple, yet of such deep meaning,
which sums up in itself the whole miracle of love, because it is love!
To cease to be one's self, to transform one's self into the ideas, the
wishes of another, to become whatsoever he wills, contrary to
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