With these words they parted. She did not make a movement, she did not
say a word to detain him. She felt that he was hers, as she was his,
wholeheartedly, absolutely, and that she could do nothing else for him
than let him go, until he should have worn out, alone, that grief for
which she pitied him so profoundly. How much greater would her pity have
been if she had known the whole truth! She believed that at Jaubourg's
death-bed the young man had surprised some denunciatory words, had
perhaps found letters which had made him suspect his mother. The proofs
that he would soon have to face were far more cruel, and amid them all
he must needs find out the path of honor.
V
IN UNIFORM
"I still have her," said Landri to himself, as he left Rue Monsieur. As
before, he walked straight ahead, with the automatic, hurried step which
indicates, in certain diseases, the beginning of a disturbance of the
nerve-centres. But does not a moral shock, of such violence as the one
that he had just received, act upon the organism after the fashion of a
genuine stroke? Do not people often die of such shocks? Do they not come
out from them paralyzed and mentally unhinged? The young man's reason
had been very near giving way during the terrible, nervous paroxysm with
which he had been attacked in Valentine's presence, and which resulted
in the renewed entreaty that she would bind herself to him forever.
"I still have her," he repeated, "and only her!"
That was the ghastly sensation that he had struggled against during
those ten minutes of dumb agony--the sudden, the indescribable crash of
everything about him.--His mother? The pious memory of her that he had
always retained, tarnished forever!--His father? He had no father from
the moment that he could no longer give that name to the only man whom
he loved with filial affection, to the noble-hearted, the magnanimous
Marquis de Claviers. For the other he had had, from childhood, only
antipathetic sentiments which his sinister disclosure had suddenly
transformed into abhorrence, mingled with remorse and pity.--His name?
He no longer had a name. The name that he bore was not his. It was a
living lie.--His home? He no longer had a home. In the mansion on Rue du
Faubourg-Saint-Honoré, as at Grandchamp, he was an intruder, a usurper.
He had no right to be there. A few words uttered by a dying man had
sufficed to make his previous existence nothing save a heap of ruins. Of
the truth of those words he had no doubt. They had come to him with the
tragic sanction of death, against which nothing can prevail. But suppose
that it was only the sudden outburst of a madness caused by the fever of
the disease? No. Was Jaubourg mad when he sent that message to him at
Grandchamp the day before, so that he might embrace him before he died?
Was he mad when he followed Landri as a child, and afterward as a young
man, with such passionately vigilant watchfulness, carefully concealing
his interest? No.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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