"Jaubourg's son!" Landri exclaimed. "I am Jaubourg's son!" The pitiless
revelation regarding his birth was beginning to appear to him in its
concrete reality. The social atmosphere in which he had lived nearly
thirty years gave to that vision a unique character. He had heard the
people of his circle, from the best--a Marquis de Claviers--to the
mediocre and the worst,--a Charlus, a Bressieux,--talk so much of
"race"; and it was in his race that he found himself suddenly stricken.
The blood that flowed in his veins--and he looked tremulously at his
hands--was the blood of Jaubourg. The vital force that enabled him to
move, to breathe, as he was doing at that moment, came to him from
Jaubourg. His very flesh came from that man. In imagination he saw him
once more, no longer a pitiable, wasted creature, as he lay stricken
with pneumonia on his bed, but young and handsome, as his childish
recollections recalled him,--on horseback, following the hunt; in
morning costume, walking in the avenues of their park at Grandchamp; in
evening dress, seated at their table. These images brought the man
before him, physically. The relationship of their faces became, so to
speak, visible, palpable, to him, and it gave him a sensation of
disgust, of revolt at himself--a detestation of his own body, as it
were.
The secret and hidden resemblances which he suddenly discovered between
himself and his mother's lover--he was dismayed to find that he dared
utter the words--confounded him. How had he failed to detect them? How
happened it that all those about him, and the marquis first of all, had
not remarked that similarity of temperament and the striking contrast
between the offspring of the Parisian bourgeois, distinguished it is
true, but in a mediocre way, and the feudal line of the Claviers? Landri
was slender, like Jaubourg, refined like him, but with a superficial,
almost stunted refinement, compared with the magnificence of those
splendidly robust noblemen. They all had light blue eyes. He had
Jaubourg's eyes, brown and dark. After so many years he could hear his
mother say: "Landri has my eyes." Why? So that no one might recognize
the eyes of the other. But he had those eyes, just as he had the
chestnut hair, and the lighter, almost tawny, mustache.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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