Lesbians -- England -- Social conditions -- Fiction
‘It do be a pity as her isn’t a boy, our young lady,’ she told her
husband.
It was one of those still, slightly frosty mornings when the landing is
tricky on the north side of the hedges; when the smoke from farm
chimneys rises straight as a ramrod; when the scent of log fires or of
burning brushwood, though left far behind, still persists in the
nostrils. A crystal clear morning, like a draught of spring water, and
such mornings are good when one is young.
The pony tugged hard and fought at his bridle; he was trembling with
pleasure for he was no novice; he knew all about signs and wonders in
stables, such as large feeds of corn administered early, and extra long
groomings, and pink coats with brass buttons, like the hunt coat Sir
Philip was wearing. He frisked down the road, a mass of affectation,
demanding some skill on the part of his rider; but the child’s hands
were strong yet exceedingly gentle—she possessed that rare gift,
perfect hands on a horse.
‘This is better than being young Nelson,’ thought Stephen, ‘’cause this
way I’m happy just being myself.’
Sir Philip looked down at his daughter with contentment; she was good to
look upon, he decided. And yet his contentment was not quite complete,
so that he looked away again quickly, sighing a little, because, somehow
these days, he had taken to sighing over Stephen.
The meet was a large one. People noticed the child; Colonel Antrim, the
Master, rode up and spoke kindly: ‘You’ve a fine pony there, but he’ll
need a bit of holding!’ And then to her father: ‘Is she safe astride,
Philip? Violet’s learning to ride, but side-saddle, I prefer it—I never
think girl children get the grip astride; they aren’t built for it,
haven’t the necessary muscle; still, no doubt she’ll stick on by
balance.’
Stephen flushed: ‘No doubt she’ll stick on by balance!’ The words
rankled, oh, very deeply they rankled. Violet was learning to ride
side-saddle, that small, flabby lump who squealed if you pinched her;
that terrified creature of muslins and ribbons and hair that curled over
the nurse’s finger! Why, Violet could never come to tea without crying,
could never play a game without getting herself hurt! She had fat,
wobbly legs too, just like a rag doll—and you, Stephen, had been
compared to Violet! Ridiculous of course, and yet all of a sudden you
felt less impressive in your fine riding breeches. You felt—well, not
foolish exactly, but self-conscious—not quite at your ease, a little
bit wrong. It was almost as though you were playing at young Nelson
again, were only pretending.
But you said: ‘I’ve got muscles, haven’t I, Father? Williams says I’ve
got riding muscles already!’ Then you dug your heels sharply into the
pony, so that he whisked round, bucking and rearing. As for you, you
stuck to his back like a limpet. Wasn’t that enough to convince them?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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