He bought bread and ate it to support himself; then he went into the
woods above the town and lurked there until the dark. His decision
was come to, and he intended to destroy both Woodrow and Sarah Jane.
They should perish; and at that moment he would have killed his God
too if he had known how. For a short time, indeed, his fetich was
dead enough; because to find what he had believed a Creator's
sustained and benignant attention proved instead one cruel,
long-drawn trick and jest, shook the man to the roots of his faith.
Such action seemed not compatible with any conception of a loving, a
just, and an all-powerful father.
For an hour he cursed God like a fallen Titan; but only for an hour.
Then lifelong trust and faith conquered, and even at this crisis
atrophied reason proved too weak to grasp its opportunity. Faith
re-took the citadel. He reflected upon his Bible, and presently
perceived that nothing had happened to him which was contrary to the
common way of God with man. The Jehovah he adored; He who once
drowned every little child in the whole world; the Being who led
Israel into the desert of Sinai; who slew Uzzah for steadying His
ark; who killed seventy thousand innocent men because David numbered
his people; who commanded whole nations to be slaughtered and their
virgins only saved for the conquerors; who prescribed rules for
slavery; who destroyed the firstborn of all Egypt, and tore ten
thousand mothers' hearts; who loved the stench and smear of blood
upon His altars, and pursued His foes with the tenacity, cruelty and
craft of a Red Indian--this Everlasting Spirit might most reasonably
be expected to play the faithless savage and torture even the least
of those who worshipped His omnipotent name. But it was not for his
creature to question Him; it was not for a thinking being to spurn
this almighty pest with scorn and with loathing; it was not for a
smitten man to ask how any Prince of Devils could worse confound his
own creation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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