produced in the Colony. This, in the course of years, when public
taste was revolutionised and the Waldenites' productions obtained great
prices, would place the Colony beyond the need of subscriptions or of
contributions by members. It would become, in Roderick's words, “The
world's great Palace of Art.” Roderick himself was ready to sacrifice
his future in London so as to take up the post of director of the Colony
at a handsome salary.
She believed in the scheme still; success, in fact, justified her faith.
But in this hour of self-abasement she distrusted the sincerity of her
enthusiasm. How much had she done genuinely for the cause? How much,
unconsciously, for the man? The question racked her. He had woven his
influence around her life. Her name was publicly associated with his.
She dreaded meeting him, yet felt the heart taken out of the day on
which she was not working under his direction. Whither was she tending?
She could not answer. Not where happiness would lie. To have brought
herself into this morass was the last and greatest of the year's
follies. In her helpless anger she hated the scheme and all that she had
done to further it. A sickening surmise as to its futility overspread
her retrospect.
She clasped her hands over her hot eyes and again longed for Woodlands.
Suddenly she sprang to her feet, and smoothed her dress and hair
hurriedly, as if ashamed of her nervelessness. She would write to
Matthew Lanyon then and there, yield herself wholly to her need of
expansion, and let what would flow from her pen. She sat down resolutely
at the ornamental escritoire and drew out writing materials. She had
never given him any definite account of the scheme. She had alluded
to it vaguely, somewhat flippantly, partly anxious to amuse and partly
fearful of criticism. The mention of Roderick Usher's name had been
rare. She had followed the secretive instinct of her sex. The old man's
references hitherto had been jocular; deceived by her manner, he had
merely regarded her interest as an idle young woman's harmless hobby.
Even in this letter that she carried crumpled in her bosom, he had asked
her how her artistic Robinson Crusoes were getting on. He should know
the history of the whole movement, her own hopes and fears,--perhaps
more of her difficulties. She would write whatever words came into her
mind.
She dipped her pen in the ink, dashed off the date and “My darling Uncle
Matthew,” and was starting the text of the letter, when the door opened.
“Mr. Usher, miss,” announced the parlour maid.
Ella closed her blotter with a petulant snap, but rose and greeted her
visitor with a smile. Roderick looked cool and point-device in a grey
frock-coat suit. A slight baldness in front gave his high forehead an
air of intellectuality. He had called, he informed her, just to report
progress. And as he talked she sat, her chin resting on her knuckles,
watching him with that wistful gaze that comes from a woman's weary
uncertainties.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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