The White Road of Mystery: The Note-Book of an American AmbulancierOrcutt, Philip Dana
History
The White Road of Mystery: The Note-Book of an American Ambulancier
Orcutt, Philip Dana
American Field Service; World War, 1914-1918 -- Personal narratives, American
There is nothing quite so uncomfortable to hear as the near whistle of a
shell. The more one hears the sound the more it affects him. There is
something in the sharp whine which seems to create despair and induce
subconscious melancholy. There is a feeling of helplessness and
powerlessness that is most depressing. The thunder of the guns or the
crash of the bursting shells cannot be compared with the sound of this
approaching menace. It is as if some demon from the depths of Hades were
hurtling towards you, its weird laughter crying out, calling to you and
chilling your blood. For the second of its passage a hush falls on the
conversation, and the best jokes die in dry throats. But it is only for
that second, and instantly laughter rings out again at some jest.
Speculations or comments are made on the probable or observed place
where it exploded, and all is the same except for that subconscious
tenseness which, for the most part unrealized, grips every man while he
goes about his work here.
The first ordeal by fire is the easiest. It is then but a new and
interesting sensation and experience. Later, after one has seen the
effect and had some close calls, it is more of a nervous strain. The
whine of a shell is very high-pitched, and after a time the sound wears
distinctly on the nerves. It is a curious fact that, in spite of the
philosophy developed, the longer a man has been under shell-fire the
harder it is for him to stand it. By no means would he think of showing
it, but he would not deny the fact. It is only the philosophy and
callousness developed which keep the men from breaking down, and in many
cases the strain on the nerves becomes so great that men do collapse
under it. This is one of the forms of so-called “shell-shock.”
The car loaded with _blessés_, we start back, driving more slowly this
time, as precious lives are in our care and jolts must be avoided
wherever possible. We find the road still more “out of repair” than when
we went over it before, with a number of new shell-holes varying from
two to ten feet in diameter, and much wood, dirt, and torn _camouflage_
strewn about, and often a horse lying where it was hit, its blood
coloring the mud in the gutter.
Approaching the town of Montzéville one sees at first a
wood—_ci-devant_—now a few blackened tree-trunks of spectre-like
appearance against the grey of the evening sky. Behind these appears the
town, a mass of jagged ruins, at that distance seeming to be absolutely
deserted. In fact it is, except for the dozen odd men who live in two or
three scattered _abris_ for some obscure purpose. An air of desolation
and despair broods over the place, and God knows it has seen enough to
haunt it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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