Produced by Barbara Tozier, Bill Tozier, Suzanne Lybarger and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net [Transcriber's Note: Unlike the other volumes of _The Wit and Humor of America_ in Project Gutenberg, Volume V was not prepared from the "Library Edition," and thus has discontinuous page numbers and will not match the index in Volume X. In addition, a few pieces in Volume V are duplicated in Volume VI, but all have been retained as printed in each edition.] [Illustration: THOMAS BAILEY ALDRICH] THE WIT AND HUMOR OF AMERICA _Edited by_ MARSHALL P. WILDER VOLUME V FUNK & WAGNALLS COMPANY NEW YORK AND LONDON COPYRIGHT 1907, BY BOBBS-MERRILL COMPANY COPYRIGHT 1911, BY THE THWING COMPANY _Printed in the United States of America_ CONTENTS PAGE Abou Ben Butler _John Paul_ 211 At Aunty's House _James Whitcomb Riley_ 70 Bill's Courtship _Frank L. Stanton_ 42 Bully Boat and a Brag Captain, A _Sol Smith_ 222 Committee from Kelly's, A _J.V.Z. Belden_ 151 Co-operative Housekeepers, The _Elliott Flower_ 149 Drayman, The _Daniel O'Connell_ 40 Dutiful Mariner, The _Wallace Irwin_ 198 Especially Men _George Randolph Chester_ 160 Farewell _Bert Leston Taylor_ 194 Funny Little Fellow, The _James Whitcomb Riley_ 28 Going Up and Coming Down _Mary F. Tucker_ 10 Have You Seen the Lady? _John Philip Sousa_ 27 Her "Angel" Father _Elliott Flower_ 159 Itinerant Tinker, The _Charles Raymond Macauley_ 74 It Pays to be Happy _Tom Masson_ 214 Latter-Day Warnings _Oliver Wendell Holmes_ 212 Lectures on Astronomy _John Phoenix_ 54 Letter from a Self-Made Merchant to His Son, A _George Horace Lorimer_ 186 Marriage of Sir John Smith, The _Phoebe Cary_ 7 Melinda's Humorous Story _May McHenry_ 200 Miss Legion _Bert Leston Taylor_ 26 Mosquito, The _William Cullen Bryant_ 215 Mr. Dooley on Expert Testimony _Finley Peter Dunne_ 51 Mr. Hare Tries to Get a Wife _Anne Virginia Culbertson_ 142 Musical Review Extraordinary _John Phoenix_ 30 My First Cigar _Robert J. Burdette_ 220 My Ruthers _James Whitcomb Riley_ 197 Night in a Rocking-Chair, A _Kate Field_ 124